Please read this if you’re suffering from a loss. As I’m writing this, I’m feeling a little down and out from a loss right now. Still, I feel this moment is the best time to write since I can bridge space and time and give out empathy when I myself could use some comfort.
Firstly, feel better knowing that you are not alone. All of us go through cycles of despair, doubt, frustration, overwhelment, and insecurity. I am writing this to you, so as I’ve mentioned above, time is bridged for a connection.
Know that it will all get better in time. It’s hard to believe, but if you look back on all the times you were down and out, you eventually did move on. It’s part of the human condition known as perserverance. Remember that first breakup? If you’re a young reader and are nodding your head curious to read more, then just trust me, just give it some time (and go out in the meantime!).
Use this time to strengthen yourself. There’s always a hidden lesson. Don’t let problems, a bad dealing with someone, or a perceived betrayal harden you. This is where you need to strengthen yourself by practicing universal love. Give love when you feel like there’s nothing in you to give. Give other people the benefit of the doubt.
If your business has gone sour, cherish your experiences, and realize you have an exciting new path ahead of you. Opportunities come to those who open themselves to attracting them in, and those who see choices in all situations, particularly the challenging ones. Most great things are born from a period of trial and error.
If a relationship has fallen apart – family, a business partnership, and particularly a romantic one – regardless of the circumstances or reasons, try to wish the other person the best in your heart (and mean it!). This is what a part of unconditional love is. It’s the best time to practice it. You’ll thank yourself later, because instead of acquiring a jaded attitude to future relationships, you actually grow better. Be grateful for the relationship.
If someone in your life has passed on, don’t let it translate into a fear of death. Don’t dwell on the unfairness or the untimeliness of someone’s passing. Embrace your mortality and realize you really need to live each day as if it were your last. Allow things to be and don’t waste your energy in a state of resistance.
If you are physically incapacitated or suffer from some debilitating illness, recognize the body is only physical form. Your mind is where your true power and energy lies. The most brilliant people I’ve ever met have gone beyond their circumstances to make great achievements. Those of us who are chronically “comfortable” actually have it the hardest – there is no drive other than to live out lives in mediocrity.
If you’re going through a job loss or are simply frustrated with work indifference, realize you have choice. Believe it or not, you can choose a new path. I did. I spent 14 years in engineering before I decided to forge my way into the uncertain worlds of dancing and entrepreneurship. You don’t need to wait so long. Be brave. Starting from the ground up can be exciting, not daunting. If you’re free from employment, as Steve Jobs put it in his speech, it’s great to start all over as a beginner again. If you’re not and want to live a little before the age of retirement (which doesn’t exist), start by trying a little something on the side today.
If you are overwhelmed and feel as if you have no time for yourself and you feel a loss of freedom, again, know that you have choice. Spend that valuable time on finding ways to free your time. Automate tasks. Pay someone else to do it. Don’t let principles stop you from saying no to getting outside help – whether it be business or within your household; don’t let procrastination delay your freedom.
If your emotions are particularly strong at the moment, then embrace the feelings you have. Observe them. If this concept seems unfamiliar, try to watch them like you’re an outside observer. Let them be and they will settle.
In the space of time, we are but a mere blip in eternity (and even less than a blip, I would say). The trials we have are experienced by generations over and over again, and right now, are experienced by perhaps hundreds of thousands of people in other parts of the world. The earth is but an ordinary planet in the infinite cosmos. Are our problems really that big in light of this?
I was chatting with a friend regarding how for most of us, once in a while when we see someone disabled, either physically or mentally, for a moment, we feel grateful for what we have. Then, our day-to-day problems creep in, overwhelm us, and suddenly they seem bigger and more important than the end of the world. Funny how that is. Take notice of it.
So while you might be experiencing one of these problems (I know I am), someone else is experiencing another. It’s important not to play the victim (if you have to sulk, give yourself a maximum time limit of a few days). Then start asking yourself important questions such as: What is the opportunity here? What can I learn here?
Instead of playing the victim, seriously answer those questions, and I promise you that your personal growth will skyrocket. There is a balance in the universe. With each seemingly negative experience, the positive outcome is there within it. Personally, I wouldn’t trade any of my most challenging life problems for anything.
So, this is where I am right now. There’s some sadness. But I feel good that I’m sharing this moment with you, wherever you are, whenever it may be.