One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things. 

-John Burroughs

If you’ve read my New Year’s post from two years back, you know how I feel about them – real resolutions aren’t made around this time.  Really, don’t bother with making a habit of resolving to do anything – that’s saved for the masses that relish pre-determined seasonal routines: a dozen roses on Valentine’s day, getting wasted on St. Patrick’s day, camping out for deals on Black Friday/Boxing Day, etc.

As I look upon my past year, I can say that I have a good recollection of most days, and a vivid memory of a select number of days.  Driven by a desire to experiment and create, I constantly, and perhaps slightly perilously, put myself in a state of change and challenge.  Doing my best to stay true to the “do one thing every day that scares you” maxim, my days never blended into one another in a forgettable haze.

Some days I would attempt a conversation in a foreign language.  Some days I would strike up conversation with attractive women in public.  Some days I would be on the dance floor making a scene, the good way, in a nightclub on the other side of the world.  Some days I was trying out new business ideas.  Almost every day I was either creating or learning something new.  Keeping this blog updated is a part of it, since non-technical writing was never my forte.  Though I can’t lay out days past photographically, I can say that the feeling from the moment I woke up to the end of any day was never tiring like it was in my office days.  I may have been burnt out at the end of some days, but it was a satisfying tiredness.

And, believe it or not, I wasn’t travelling most of the time.  Having a memorable year due to long-term travel is almost a given, and, although creating the circumstances for long-term travel requires more determination and fortitude, the journey to getting there is nonetheless simultaneously memorable.  If you have indeed been travelling for the past year, then I’ll assume you’re in a pleasant place reading this post with a smile, wherever you may be.  As for myself, strangely enough, while I coasted through different parts of the world, I felt that beyond working on my video projects, I didn’t really need to travel so much.  I realized I would have been just as content being in one place working on great projects, and as a result, that’s where I am now.

Not surprisingly, the lifestyle I have chosen also comes with many ups and downs.  I have my share of loss and failure.  At the same time, I feel like I’ve condensed five years of learning into one.  Getting used to the roller coaster does require some grit, but so long as I don’t stay down, loss becomes determination, which in turn is a motivating force – not the other way around.  You’ll always remember a loss, but if you allow one or many to take over you, perhaps in the form of a depression, then your days will no longer be memorable.  Instead, you will remain in that same murky haze, waiting for each painful day to pass.

So, given what I’ve said, how can you spend the first few days of the New Year?

If you have some written goals, it’s a fun time to review them.  Read them over.  See where you are.  Revise them as needed – things change along the way.    For instance, if you’re a goal newbie, you may find that material goals may decrease while personal goals such as having better relationships, balance, and mental peace to be at the forefront.  Jotting them down, and then looking back on them in a journal is a fun idea because it’s really interesting to see your progress.  And remember, goals are never really a destination – be in it for the journey.  As I may have mentioned before, I actually don’t review written goals often – I’ve more or less internalized them, and question my progress frequently.

If  you’re already in a place where you’re taking action, perhaps from reading this blog , then congratulations!  Give yourself a pat on the back and simply continue doing what you’ve been doing.  Being on track is a noble place to be, and if I’ve helped, I’m glad to have been a stepping stone on your journey.

If, on the other hand, you haven’t made any significant steps towards change, then at least be honest to yourself right now and acknowledge your shortcomings.  This is the first step towards any change.  If you’ve found that, once again, you’re in this stage of non-action, then it’s really time to get serious with your determination.  There may be too much glut in your life, but I’ll have to save my productivity tips for later posts.  For now, just try to TAKE ACTION, TAKE ACTION, TAKE ACTION.

I’ll get real here.  The condition of mediocrity is putting up with a draining routine.  The daily routines that consume your time and siphon your life energy.  If your past year consisted mostly of an unending string of homogeneous daily routines, then there’s a good chance it wasn’t memorable.

What can you do?

First, I highly recommend eliminating.  Simplify.  Eliminate the routines that are draining you or your time.  Once you have eliminated, take another look at your routines, and eliminate some more.  This is not easy.  Eliminating requires deliberate action, because over time, draining routines camouflage themselves as necessary activities.  For example, giving up the news requires breaking a bad habit you might have previously thought was good.   You might need to put in considerable effort to resist typing in the URL of your favorite news site in your browser (or, if you’re technically savvy, redirect the URL).  Or, you may need to do something more drastic like my friend George does, such as giving away his TV.  Or, perhaps you may need to tackle a more difficult time-consuming routine like reducing the amount of time you commute to work.   This could require negotiating a remote working arrangement, moving closer to your workplace, or even changing jobs.

When you’ve eliminated enough, then maybe – I stress maybe, because first and foremost, focus on elimination – maybe, add one important (and preferably simple) routine.  An important activity is something that moves you towards a goal.  As Stephen Covey wrote, this is not to be confused with an urgent activity that needs to be done, such as grocery shopping or driving your kids to dance lessons.

With the important routines, your days will become something to remember.  For example, if you’ve always wanted to learn how to play the piano, then you would have to sign up for lessons and allot daily practice times.  If you wanted to become a better speaker, then you’d have to find a local Toastmasters club and attend weekly meetings.  If you wanted to be in better shape… well, at this time of the year, I hesitate at recommending going to the gym, as it’s more or less become a seasonal routine for many.  Instead, try finding a physical activity you actually like.  Many of my friends gravitate towards team pickup sports such as indoor soccer, ultimate frisbee, or softball.  I prefer rock climbing.

Coming full circle, remember, this post is written around the New Year, but is applicable at anytime.  Make it so that at any day of the year, whether it be on February 4th or November 7th, you can look back on the past 365 days and know that they were all well spent.  If you want this coming year to be a good one, focus on making each day memorable, even if just a small step, and a great year will be a reflection of the sum of its good little parts.

The following excerpt is written by my good friend, George, who’s posted here before.  George is a high school dropout turned financially free, self-made business owner and serial entrepreneur.  This time around, he brings his sarcasm and wit to talk about personal empowerment.

“In our life time, family will be a thing of the past, prostitution will be legal, medication will be treated like morning coffee, and taxation will be instantaneous. Isn’t the future great!”

- Anonymous

As I am walking to the tanning studio, I see one, two, then three new mobility scooters zip past me, which I assume are for people having a hard time walking or just can’t walk. But something does not smell right to me – two to three years ago, when there were almost no scooters on the street in my neighbourhood, were all these people just stuck in their apartments?

I enter the tanning studio and say hello to my tanning host, Tasha.  I also spot two older women in their late 50’s or early 60’s sitting, and I guess, waiting for their turn.  One has superb legs for her age, and I can tell she knows it.  She has a short skirt on, accentuating her legs.  After overhearing a few typical flirty exchanges with Tasha, one of the women speaks up:  “Well aren’t we a little cocky today?”

I smile and reply, “It’s only confidence with a strong foundation of self-worth”.

After a few more exchanges she remarks, “You know, I know what being sure of yourself is.  I had more surgeries on my foot then I can count and I refuse to give up”.  I look at her foot and in astonishment, I see that all her toes have been amputated and she wears two costume shoes to conceal her impairment.  I was baffled at how she was able to balance herself.  Amazing.

Now I really like this lady – she’s hard-headed, refuses to give up, and looks after herself (even though she smokes, but who cares).  I proceed to tell her about all the people I saw on mobility scooters while coming to the studio.

She smugly replies, “Ha!  My doctor tried pushing me on to one of those.  I told him he was out of his fucking mind”.   We then discuss old age homes, and how both of us would fight to the very end before living in one of those graveyards.

A healthy balance in life does include admitting that you will need someone’s help one day.  We collect credits (as I like to call them) by helping friends and family now, and the day will come for all of us when we need to cash in the credits and ask for help.  But giving up and stuffing your face with fast food, feeling depressed in wintertime and asking for a blue pill, or smoking 2 packs a day and then asking your doctor to hook you up with a scooter, is just shameful.

Eat, smoke, and feel blue – but take responsibility. What are you saying to your fellow man and kids growing up?  Seeing this sends a strong messag: It’s okay to give up, because papa government will look after you.

I have a challenge for anyone reading this article and not agreeing just a little.

1. Go to any Chinatown and try finding mobility scooters. Count the canes, strollers, and wheelchairs.  You will see a few canes but no scooters. It’s also a good idea to count the old people as well.  Since you’re there, also count the overweight people (good luck on that one).

2. Now leave Chinatown and start counting again.

There are places in the world, particularly North America and some Western European nations, where no one is allowed to fall through the cracks. In these countries, if you fall, you’re given prescription remedies, scooters, shitty checks, or maybe if you are lucky – the walking dead to live with. Some of these remedies are a slow downward spiral to nothingness – they KILL the human spirit.

All great life changing events come from misery.  95% of this misery is our own faults and 5% is just life throwing you a curve-ball, because shit happens. This is the stuff that makes us great, makes our society healthy, and pushes us to rely on the greatest thing life gives all of us – the “each other”, the great virtues of life such as humility, compassion, mentoring, and facing fears.

What can we do? Well, when I spend a length of time back in Eastern Europe, my native home,  I notice an interesting trait amongst the locals, that could be seen as a double edged sword – but I think the positives outweighs the negatives. If you’re a woman and walking around the city with a nice shiny black eye, at least four strangers a day have to ask what happened to you.  This can be annoying, especially if all you did was walk into a door, but if your husband is beating you, you will get scolded with, “Who is this man?”, “Why are you still with him?”, “Does your father know?”, and so on.

Based on this, what I recommend is to start by talking to your friends more about what you really think about yourself, life, society, and them. Start taking a chance to let the world see you with all your wonderful warts; this will give you the right to point theirs out.  A true friend risks the friendship to let them know when they’re fucking up, e.g. “Hey Frank, you look like shit and if you stuff another greasy burger in your mouth, I will drown you in the pool.”

I will finish with this with a quick story.  I had a childhood friend of mine who allowed his phobias to run his life – in the end, he died young under questionable circumstances.  His death I couldn’t control, but I will always feel guilty not giving him a piece of my mind.  All I had to do was tell him how I thought and felt.  But instead, I never picked up the phone because I didn’t want to be uncomfortable.  Well, I will not make that mistake again.

In life, we see things around us, and because so many other people are doing it, we think the tide of change is pointing towards a new direction, and it must be good.  Well, I am here to tell you some tides are meant to drown us.  Don’t just give in and have them carry you away wherever they may go.  Take control, recognize the bad tides, and swim like hell the other way – even if you have no toes!

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.”
- Mark Twain

The following excerpt is written by my good friend, George.  George was a high school dropout who was caught up in drug and alcohol addictions for over a decade.  At 30, he had enough – he completely abstained from all substance abuse, and started the first of many businesses.  Now at 35, he’s financially free.  Having a lengthy experience with addiction problems, he has some extreme advice for handling our daily addictions. 

A simple foresight into the future, hold on to your reality because it will get real murky.

I am writing this in early 2011, but perhaps this article will be more interesting 5 years from now.  But here is what is going to happen in the next few years.  The perfect storm is brewing with technology as a hole, and Hollywood having access to cheaper technology.  Technology-infused culture will fog up our reality.  You may say big deal, so what? Well, monkey see monkey do.

The true test for people in the future is to remain grounded in reality and even that discussion will get clouded with the main stream media BS.  The symptoms are all there, everyone is starting to get a little narcotic over things that don’t really matter:  checking Facebook profiles 3 times a day, YouTube videos that entertain you for hours (or we think so) only to walk away feeling like you just flushed 5 hours of your life down the toilet.  Video games with virtual reality that can eat your mind and time.   Cable shows and mini-series that are so addictive that even I threw in the towel a few years ago.

Here are a few statistics to chew on:

1.       28 hours per week of TV (approximately 30% of your waking life)

2.       15 hours per week of Internet (15% of your life and most people have TV and internet…)

3.       12-24.5 hours playing video games per week.

The power of this black hole is simply “everyone seems to be doing it”, no one wants to be left out.   We have an evolution-based fear – “I don’t want the group to abandon me”.    Young people are the most vulnerable.

The solution that even I am having trouble with is this – do what has worked in the past 5000 years and be suspicious of the new.

• Get rid of your TV, they’re time killers and with endless amount of money and resources at their disposal you need to admit to yourself that they are smarter then you.  I am not talking about their shows, those could not be more stupid and unrealistic.

• Remove any if not all games and useless apps from you phone.

• Get rid of your video games  (If you are using it only 1-2 hours a week, my hat is off to you, I can’t do it).

• Have one computer in your life that you never use for entertainment (unless you have a healthy balance now)

• Read books.  Everyone needs to turn off and escape and while you are doing this, you can grow your imagination, vocabulary and keep your mind sharp.  I have a Kindle because all I can do with it is read; if I have an iPad there is too much distraction on it.

• The thing that makes people the happiest has not changed in 5000 years, it’s simple and for the most part free…..IT’S THE FRIENDSHIP OF OTHER PEOPLE.  Get out of your house and mingle.

In conclusion, we need to live our lives like we are writing a novel, every chapter can be pre-written and carried out. We have it all yet we are missing the core essence of it.

Technology should only be used as tools to help us grow, not take away that growth.

In my last post, I illustrated how my written goals came to fruition.  However, in all honesty, it’s not so black-and-white.  You can’t just write it down and expect it to happen.  There’s more to it, so please read on.

Often times, we tend to gravitate towards easy solutions.  Remember that pseudo-spiritual film The Secret?  The theme was “focus on what you want, feel it, and you’ll get it”.  Damn, so simple!  It was like the 5-minute Abtronic for goal setting.   And yet, I’ve met heaps of people who bought into The Secret, watched it to death, but have yet to manifest anything.

I confess I was caught up in the film too, until I delved further into the original concepts on which the film was based on, read other books, and learned more about attracting what you want in life.  It was there that I learned that manifesting what you desire goes far beyond getting stuff or cheap accolades.

The truth is there’s more.  First, you really have to want it.  Let me emphasize that some more.  I mean you want it badly, almost to the point where it’s life or death.  Otherwise, if it’s just a mediocre situation, you will put up with it.  Humans have a high tolerance for mediocrity and dissatisfaction.   If you can’t stand your partner, but don’t think you can do better, you’ll settle.  If your job is boring beyond belief but it pays decent, then it’s OK to give up the next 30 years of your life in cubicle hell.   You may also find yourself justifying your situation with excuses such as bills to pay (they will always be there), you’re still learning from the job (you’re not), or it’s a good work environment (doesn’t beat the beach on the weekdays).

It’s not unless it’s really bad do we do something about it.   If your spouse is abusive, you’ll leave.  If your job is an absolute nightmare or a danger to your health, you’ll quit.   So you must get into the mindset of urgency.  Condense those potentially wasted years ahead of you, those years of limitless opportunities that could be squandered, those years living a completely different life…  Condense them into this one present moment and feel that frustration.  It’s not worth settling, right?

You could settle, but you’ll wonder “what if” for the rest of your life.  Remember, on your death bed, the only regrets you have will be the risks you didn’t take, not the ones you did take.

So the last point on urgency emphasizes my most important point – you have to take action.  Again, I am not a special person – I only take action.  Over the past years, many people have come to me for advice, face-to-face, asking how they can make big changes in their lives.  I’ve had many heart-to-heart talks, but sadly, only a handful of people, have accomplished anything fruitful.  The only difference in these individuals is that they took some action.  Most people give up before the battle has begun.  They might take action eventually, but not on their own accord.  They’ll act only when everyone else is already doing it, but unfortunately by then, they’ve fallen behind.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, taking action is a concept I really take to heart, so I need to emphasize it some more (like I didn’t bold it enough already):  TAKE ACTION TAKE ACTION TAKE ACTION TAKE ACTION!!!!

My final tidbit for today.  If your goals are too big, then you’ll be overwhelmed, paralyze yourself, and end up doing nothing.  Break them down into smaller chunks.  Outsource them if you have to (check out elance).

Here’s a snapshot of some tiny goals:

• Write this post
• Add a Facebook like button to my posts
• Rent and set up lighting for my dance studio
• Outsource a tiny programming task to India

So break down your goals, however small they need be for you to take that first, single step.

Big things can happen, and will happen.  In October, I returned to Toronto in search of pursuing four great projects, armed with a strong idea of what they should be like, but without the proper resources.  Fast forward to today.  One of the projects, the female dance series for my dance videos, was completed two months ago.   Two other creative projects were completed this past week.  The other two projects are at the 50% mark.  Stay tuned on my blog for the release of one of the secret projects

Also, one of my readers asked me to post up a copy of the goal setting worksheets I mentioned in my last post.  If you’re reading this post from an email subscription and can’t see the images, click here to go to the post.

To people who have just met me, it might seem that everything I have done seems to have panned out.   I wanted to work for myself, and my first few business endeavours didn’t turn out so bad.   I wanted to paint, and most of my art has had some gallery time as well as been sold.   Same with photography.  I wanted to be a good rock climber, and I’m climbing at a pretty respectable level.   I wanted to be good with women, and my dating life is respectable right now, to say the least.   I wanted to be a good snowboarder, dancer, magician, white water kayaker, adventurer,  speak multiple languages, and so and and so forth.

Have I been lucky?

Not so much.  Along each thing that works out, there are a serious number of embarrassing failures and a lot of perserverance.   I’ve just gotten comfortable with embarrassing failures.

I have a number of shelved paintings that I feel are uninspired, even though I’ve spent countless hours on them.  I’ll probably throw them out soon once I accept that they are that bad.

Many of my creative endeavors were canned.  Even look at this website, for example, you can see on the sidebanner that I had a writing gap.  Risingbean.com had virtually no readership in the first year.  And right now, I feel the first few articles I wrote were not particularly well written.

I’m more than sure many of the women I’ve approached in the past thought I was creepy, awkward, or weird.   Honestly speaking, 9 out of 10 phone numbers I collected didn’t pan out beyond flirty text messages.  Even now, many numbers don’t work out.  It’s just part of the game.

When I started learning Latin dancing, most women in the clubs wouldn’t dance with me because I wasn’t a good enough leader.  Even today, some women don’t like dancing salsa with me because my style is unconventional (it’s heavily hip hop infused).

I’ve taken huge falls rock climbing, had snowboarding tricks go wrong and land bad, desperately pulled out of my kayak and gasped for air in bitterly cold Nepali rapids, been “busted” doing my magic tricks, offended many people accidentally, and have gotten lost all over the world.

So yes, it’s not without a lot of failure and perserverance that one gets a breakthrough.

And I’m not talking about just trying out something.  I’m talking about committing to learn a skill to a proficient level or have a true experience of something.

It’s easy to try out snowboarding and give up because it’s too painful ( tip for beginners: wear wrist guards, knee pads, and a butt pad on your first three days if you want to succeed).  Similarly, it’s easy to go snowboarding once a year but never learn to carve.   It’s easy to say “Hello”, “How much?”, “Where is the toilet?” and count to 10 in a language, but having a conversation, making friends, or flirting with the opposite sex in a foreign language is a whole new ballgame.

The same goes for anything you try – my point is that you need to commit and follow through consistently to get good at it.

How do we do this?

Castenada once wrote:

“Before you embark on any path ask the question: Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path. The trouble is nobody asks the question; and when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him.”

Choose the path with heart.   Sometimes, like rock climbing, it’s new and exciting from the start.  Other times, like learning languages, it takes a while to see the results.  As long as the heart is there, once combined with grit and determination, you’ll get there while enjoying the journey.

The journey may involve some loss.  Many actors retire from high paying but monotonous TV or movie roles to pursue theatre again.   I’ve lost the approval of many people in the pursuit of my endeavours.   It’s all about the evolution of ourselves.

So get started.   Take your ego out of the picture.  Stop worrying about what other people will think.  Remove the distractions from your life.  Think abundance and opportunity.  Everyone is capable of making great achievements.

“Do or do not.  There is no try.”

- Yoda

I’m spending some time as a guest at Stanford University right now, enjoying what the university offers and learning what I feel like without any academic pressure.  It’s pretty quiet here, and it seems like everyone is studying.  For me, it’s pretty relaxed, and I’m often drawn to riding around campus on an old ’72 Peugeot road bike I picked up at the local Goodwill.

Being at Stanford and all, I’m brought to remember Steve Jobs’ commencement speech here in 2005, which I often quote from.  Here’s another secret – I put it on my iPod and I must have listened to it at least 43.5 times over the past few years.   It has definitely pumped me in the direction of charting my own path.

I like most of the speech, but I’m a particular fan of “keep looking, don’t settle” (if you haven’t found what you love) with regards to all aspects of life.  It’s nothing new, but a great reminder.  A really great reminder.  It’s also nice hearing it from someone’s actual experiences, and Steve Jobs’ professional life has been very public.

Caring means sharing, so here’s a link to an edited version of the speech I made (right click to save), free of the pre-speech and the commentator remarks – perfect for listening to over and over and over again.

Click here for the full text of his speech.

Olga Moritz of of Full Circle Healing Arts posed these interesting questions after previewing my Sunscreen Song Tribute the night before the release.   I hesitated on answering the questions immediately, thinking interviews were something more akin to celebrities, but after a number of readers asked me similar questions, I thought I’d share it with everyone.

What was your intention with regard to your first 7-minute inspirational dance/video montage (videodancescape)?

I wanted to do something really free and fun, with the side effect of showing people what’s possible.  It’s crazy how it came together.  I really liked The “Sunscreen Song” (Everybody’s Free To Wear Sunscreen), so I flirted with the idea of syncing some adventure clips to it while I was on the road last May.   The more I imagined it, the more it started to materialize.

At first, I jokingly filmed some silly scenes of myself goofing around in different landscapes.  Not long after, I found myself filming little dance scenes while thinking of the “Dance!” part of “The Sunscreen Song” while traveling.  And then, I really started filming specific scenes when I drove across the country in October.  It really came together in December when I was editing.  As I reviewed unwatched travel footage, many random scenes just popped up and inadvertently fit the song.  I have an article lined up on the power of intention in relation to that.

I also didn’t remember what the original video for the song looked like.  I didn’t watch it so that I would come up with something entirely original and based on my own experiences.   By the way, I love that word -  videodancescape.  It’s very image provoking.  It actually gives me an idea, which I’m writing down right now.

How much fun was it to be in total creative control of the piece?

Amazing.  When I look back at the freedom to work on something that has no commercial purpose, I can understand why actors leave high paying TV contracts to return to the theatre.  Prior to the video, creatively, I felt I was at a standstill.    One of the many coats I wear that few people know about is that I’m also a fine artist.  However, recently, I’ve had many unfinished and uninspired paintings and felt my creativity was at a standstill.

But with The Sunscreen Song Tribute, I felt a renewed vigor and realized I just needed a new outlet.  It was my first creative video project (I have no film-school training), but I rapidly finished all major editing in 4 days with very little sleep.  It was sheer joy.

“Do everything with your body.”  How does this statement impact mind?

The body, our senses, is a path to getting acquainted with our minds.   When I’m rock climbing, dancing, or doing yoga, I don’t think about much else.  I’m either focused on my movements or enjoying the moment.  I’ve learned that by taking that focus and awareness of one’s body to daily activities, even with something simple as washing the dishes, or my favorite, mending my clothes, it helps elevate everything one does.

I’m thinking of an entertaining quotation from Fight Club: 

“ Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessel’s life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted.”

Do you have any fears left in you?

Absolutely.  That’s the story of my life and this blog – living with uncertainty and fear.   It’s all about managing these “fake fears” and more importantly, courage.  For example, I still have plenty of moments of hesitation approaching attractive women in public.  I also know from experience that I when I miss an opportunity, I hate banging my head against the wall later thinking “what if, would have, should have” even more, so that definitely helps me act more.

I also have a fear of confrontation.  Well actually, it’s more like I have a low tolerance for conflict and drama.   For example, I remember last week I had a less-than-stellar dispute at a business I frequent.  Although I calmly cited past, objective experiences and knew I was correct, the new manager was abrupt and grew more hardened in her position as I recalled past experiences.  Rather than create unnecessary  drama, I accepted the situation, took it up with the head office the next day, and everything was promptly resolved.  In disputes or negotiations, I recommend sticking with facts and leaving out emotions as much as possible.

Name two things that would scare the pants off you?

Well, I’ve learned that mental fears are really just that, so although they may make my heart race a bit, they won’t scare the pants off of me.

However, the last time I really got spooked, I was on the final pitch of a 15-pitch climb in Mexico.  The final pitch rounded a corner to a difficult and windy sheer face with a 1500 foot drop – I was really nervous climbing that final stretch.    The view from the top anchor station is actually on The Sunscreen Song Tribute at the part where Baz Luhrmann quips “your choices are half chance…”

In light of that, what would scare the pants off of me would be doing something crazy adventurous on a sheer rock face in combination with rock climbing.  Off the top of my head, two such activities would be BASE jumping and slacklining (see below video).

What’s the most important thing in life according to you?

This one’s evolved quite a lot, and still evolving as I re-define my perspective of life.  When I was younger, I felt family values were really important.  Then, I noticed that not everyone is given a great family or even has one for that matter.  I also came to realize that although family is great to have, it is not one’s sole purpose in life.  I plan on writing more about this meaty topic later.

Then, I remember I used to feel strongly about personal values such as honesty and integrity, but the other day, I tweeted this thought:

“Don’t concern yourself with what other people should or shouldn’t be, even if you intentions are noble“.

It’s just that in this vast world, and all the people I’ve seen and met in their simple and complex life situations, I can’t really judge them because their life circumstances could be  so different from mine, even though honesty and integrity are great characteristics to have.

As for what I think is important now,  though I can’t say it’s the most important, I would say from a spiritual context, it’s centering of oneself.  For readers new to this concept, it roughly means not occupying your mind with stress, worry, anxiety, resentment, and other negative states.  This topic can get pretty involved, but if it piques your interest, I highly recommend reading Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power Of Now.

On the same topic of change, another reader recently asked me about my purpose for traveling.   That’s evolved too – I used to travel to see a lot of places and open up my mind, then I changed it to having serious adventures abroad because I was tired of just looking at places.  Now,  I mostly want to live and experience different cultures at a slow pace.

Talk about your upcoming projects.

While filming The Sunscreen Song Tribute, I actually concurrently filmed videos for more inspirational videos I plan on slowly releasing in the future.  I also have to get more footage on the road while I continue piecing together my creative vision for these projects.  I’m hitting the road tomorrow actually.

In addition, I’ve filmed the required footage for many of my upcoming dance DVD’s, but I’m a real perfectionist, so I often find myself re-shooting scenes and going out to clubs to get more stock footage while creating my Club Dance Style.  It’s pretty hard getting dance footage in night clubs, but it’s important as it really shows that I walk my talk (or rather, dance it).  Night clubs don’t like video cameras, but these days, video cameras are so small and versatile that soon a phone will suffice!

Other than that, I’m seriously spending a lot of time editing these days, even though I may be abroad.  To keep editing from completely draining me, I plan on interspersing creative, inspirational videos with DVD releases.  Stay tuned!

Mary Schmich penned the article  “Advice, Like Youth, Probably Just Wasted on the Young” many years ago to which my Sunscreen Song Tribute is derived from.

Following the release of my video on Timothy Ferriss’ blog, a lot of people asked me for some life advice.  The truth is, just like Tim wrote about himself in his book, I’m not dirty rich nor do I wish to be.   I’m actually still on the path and don’t believe I’ve made it … yet(*).

I drive a 12-year old Honda Civic which I mostly maintain myself.  My sister-in-law gives me homecuts (albeit very good homecuts).  I’ve never owned a dishwasher, though I fantasize once in a while about having one in the distant future.  Instead of dinner and a movie dates, I choose “cost-efficient” dates such as going to public markets, having impromptu picnics, and surfing vintage thrift stores.

However, I will readily admit that I have planted the seed, and I am on a very good path.

Like one of the other featured people in Tim’s post, soultraveler3, who travels  around the world with her family on 25,000 dollars a year while her daughter plays the violin at each hop, I just don’t want to die with my song still in me.

I also feel that it’s pretty easy for people to write about their successes after they’ve made it, so I think it would be an interesting change for people to be reading from someone who’s only on the path to “making it”.

I’ve pretty much lived my life in reverse.  As a young, single dad many years ago, I was unwillingly forced to grow up very fast until it I couldn’t handle it any longer.  Then, a miraculous thing happened – I looked within myself and realized I was creating my unhappiness.  I realized I was the source of frustration -  and in short,  that was the start of how I became younger as I grew older.

Hopefully, I haven’t let good advice be wasted in my youth, so here is my advice for those who dare to aspire, for those who want to get younger as they grow older, from my youth to everyone of all ages:

Don’t worry about what other people think of you.  It’s mostly in your head.  You will be criticized and mocked (often by the ones closest to you) when you go out on a limb, but that is where all the fruit is.

Follow your intuition.  Men, this is particularly relevant to you since we tend to look at things too objectively.

Be okay with failure and rejection.

Be okay with losing friends who don’t support your new direction.  You will attract the right people into your life if you stay focused and on track.

Recognize the small successes for what they are – a seed planted for something bigger.

Stop judging others or yourself.  Give other people the benefit of the doubt.  In current terms, don’t be a hater.

Do one thing every day that scares you.  Mary Schmich wrote this in her article.  Lululemon reusable shopping bags have this written clearly on them.  I wrote about my experiences trying this concept out too.

Keep your mind active and always be learning something.  Be a lifelong student.  Be nice to beginners  (newbies, noobs), because if you make the lifelong learning habit, you will always be a “noob” at something.  More importantly, be humble.

Don’t concern yourself with being right (and making others wrong).  More often than not, it’s better just to be happy.

See your problems as either challenges or preferably opportunities.  I will admit that this is harder than it sounds yet it is so important.  Looking back on my life, I wouldn’t trade any of my so-called problems for the world, as they’ve taught me so much and brought me to where I am.  From them, I’ve learned acceptance, understanding, compassion, courage, and so much more.   Change your perspective and soon enough, you’ll be having good problems (e.g. Who should I ask out tonight – Betty or Veronica?)

Let go.  Accept the things you can’t change.  What you don’t accept will eat you up on the inside, and will synchronistically age you on the outside.  I’ll repeat it again -  Let go.

Be comfortable with being uncomfortable.  On the other side of fear lies freedom.

Celebrate your successes or achievements, but don’t let them inflate your ego.  Your accomplishments do not make you a better person than anyone else.

Be flexible.

Stay fit.  Your body is the most important possession you will ever have in this world, so take care of it with that in mind.  If you owned a Maserati, you wouldn’t put low octane fuel into it, so treat your body likewise.

Give value to other people.  Don’t think so much about what you can get.  It will come in due time, when you least expect it.

Lift with your knees.

Do what you love.  Working hard or working smart doesn’t mean much if you don’t love what you do.  Again, focus on giving value.  It’s a reward in itself.  Steve Jobs said it best:  If you haven’t found (what you love) yet, keep looking.  Don’t settle.

Simplify.  Don’t accumulate too many things.  They only tie you down and clutter your mind.

Look for similarities in other people, rather than differences.

Stop watching TV.

Create an action habit.  The Law of Attraction doesn’t work without some action.

Practice patience.

Take responsibility for your own actions.  Stop blaming others for your circumstances.

Write down your goals.

Review your goals.

And of course … above all else, wear sunscreen

(*) The notion of “making it” or “success” is purely subjective.   To some people, I may have made it.  To others, no.  Like I mention in the post, always be a student on the path.   Enjoy the journey, not the destination.

This year, I only have two New Year’s resolutions: avoid getting parking tickets and stop losing so many umbrellas.  That’s it.  They’re simple because my true goals are not made on the first day of every year.  It’s going to be the busiest time of the year for all fitness gyms as they sign on new members looking to get in shape, yet most gym employees will readily admit that 95% of new members will not show up after the first month.

Let’s stop the vicious cycle of making a sudden drastic change that goes nowhere and get something really accomplished.

Real goals are concrete, written down, and reviewed constantly.  I’m constantly on top of my goals, on track, and revising them as I meet them.  If you haven’t tried writing down your goals yet, it’s pretty simple.   Write them in every major category: health, wealth, career, family, relationships, spirituality, adventure, mental (new skills).  Write them for what you would like to reasonably achieve a year from now.  Then, write your 3 year, 5 year, and 10 year goals.

Next, comes the most important part: reviewing your goals constantly. I recommend journaling, either paper or digital.  Some people swear that pen and paper does wonders as the handwritten process makes them more connected with their written goals. I review them via a digital journal, and I often have so much to write.  At first, review them at least 2 or 3 times a week and write about how you’re on track with your goals or what plans you have to achieve them.  After half a year, you may tone it down to a weekly activity, but at least make sure you’re reading them.

Regardless, there’s magic in writing your goals.  I can attest to that.  Somehow, it activates your subconscious, and before you know it, you’re slowly moving towards many of them in some shape or form.  You’ll start taking action and procrastinate less.

In the book What They Don’t Teach You At Harvard Business School by Mark McCormack, a well-known study of Harvard grads and goals was conducted.  Ten years after graduation, 13 percent of the class who were aware of their goals, were earning, on average, twice as much as the 84 percent who had no goals at all.  More interestingly, three percent of the class who had clear, written goals were earning, on average, ten times as much as the other 97 percent put together.

A year from now, when you’re reviewing them for at least the 100th time and scoffing at New Year’s Resolutions, you’ll realize you might have to revise many of your goals because you’ve met them sooner than you’ve thought.  Or, you might have gained some new insight and have moved into a completely positive new direction altogether.  This happens when you make a drastic change in your life, such as a career change, ending of a bad relationship, move, etc.  For example, in my case, as I developed new levels of thinking, I found I wanted to develop my spiritual goals, and  my material goals (wealth) became less important.  Many of the things I used to want I no longer desired.

Just don’t be afraid of change.  You need it to strengthen you.  The core of a person’s spirit is new experiences.

Seriously though, no matter how hard I try, I keep getting parking tickets no matter how hard I try to avoid them, especially in Toronto.  And those umbrellas.  I think I need an alarm that activates when I walk more than 50 meters away from mine.

I’ve been sidetracked on my other projects because I really wanted to put this video out there before the year end.  I’m really happy to have the freedom to work on a creative project with no real purpose other than to put some good energy out into the universe.   It’s a video I’ve compiled from the video I’ve taken in my adventures and activities over the past few years (too bad I only started doing video a year ago!).

I’m not trying to tell everyone to do everything possible, but rather inspire people to live more freely.  If it inspires you, and you like it, please share.  I would like a video with a good message to spread out there rather than the negative conflict-driven material that often consumes us.  The song is “Everybody’s Free (Wear Sunscreen)” voiced by Baz Luhrmann.  It’s been 10 years since it came out and this is my 10-year tribute.  Again, feel free to share with as many people as possible.

All the best,

Ki’une

Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)  lyrics:

by Baz Luhrmann (written by Mary Schmich)

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.