Self Discipline

I’m spending some time as a guest at Stanford University right now, enjoying what the university offers and learning what I feel like without any academic pressure.  It’s pretty quiet here, and it seems like everyone is studying.  For me, it’s pretty relaxed, and I’m often drawn to riding around campus on an old ’72 Peugeot road bike I picked up at the local Goodwill.

Being at Stanford and all, I’m brought to remember Steve Jobs’ commencement speech here in 2005, which I often quote from.  Here’s another secret – I put it on my iPod and I must have listened to it at least 43.5 times over the past few years.   It has definitely pumped me in the direction of charting my own path.

I like most of the speech, but I’m a particular fan of “keep looking, don’t settle” (if you haven’t found what you love) with regards to all aspects of life.  It’s nothing new, but a great reminder.  A really great reminder.  It’s also nice hearing it from someone’s actual experiences, and Steve Jobs’ professional life has been very public.

Caring means sharing, so here’s a link to an edited version of the speech I made (right click to save), free of the pre-speech and the commentator remarks – perfect for listening to over and over and over again.

Click here for the full text of his speech.

Olga Moritz of of Full Circle Healing Arts posed these interesting questions after previewing my Sunscreen Song Tribute the night before the release.   I hesitated on answering the questions immediately, thinking interviews were something more akin to celebrities, but after a number of readers asked me similar questions, I thought I’d share it with everyone.

What was your intention with regard to your first 7-minute inspirational dance/video montage (videodancescape)?

I wanted to do something really free and fun, with the side effect of showing people what’s possible.  It’s crazy how it came together.  I really liked The “Sunscreen Song” (Everybody’s Free To Wear Sunscreen), so I flirted with the idea of syncing some adventure clips to it while I was on the road last May.   The more I imagined it, the more it started to materialize.

At first, I jokingly filmed some silly scenes of myself goofing around in different landscapes.  Not long after, I found myself filming little dance scenes while thinking of the “Dance!” part of “The Sunscreen Song” while traveling.  And then, I really started filming specific scenes when I drove across the country in October.  It really came together in December when I was editing.  As I reviewed unwatched travel footage, many random scenes just popped up and inadvertently fit the song.  I have an article lined up on the power of intention in relation to that.

I also didn’t remember what the original video for the song looked like.  I didn’t watch it so that I would come up with something entirely original and based on my own experiences.   By the way, I love that word -  videodancescape.  It’s very image provoking.  It actually gives me an idea, which I’m writing down right now.

How much fun was it to be in total creative control of the piece?

Amazing.  When I look back at the freedom to work on something that has no commercial purpose, I can understand why actors leave high paying TV contracts to return to the theatre.  Prior to the video, creatively, I felt I was at a standstill.    One of the many coats I wear that few people know about is that I’m also a fine artist.  However, recently, I’ve had many unfinished and uninspired paintings and felt my creativity was at a standstill.

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Mary Schmich penned the article  “Advice, Like Youth, Probably Just Wasted on the Young” many years ago to which my Sunscreen Song Tribute is derived from.

Following the release of my video on Timothy Ferriss’ blog, a lot of people asked me for some life advice.  The truth is, just like Tim wrote about himself in his book, I’m not dirty rich nor do I wish to be.   I’m actually still on the path and don’t believe I’ve made it … yet(*).

I drive a 12-year old Honda Civic which I mostly maintain myself.  My sister-in-law gives me homecuts (albeit very good homecuts).  I’ve never owned a dishwasher, though I fantasize once in a while about having one in the distant future.  Instead of dinner and a movie dates, I choose “cost-efficient” dates such as going to public markets, having impromptu picnics, and surfing vintage thrift stores.

However, I will readily admit that I have planted the seed, and I am on a very good path.

Like one of the other featured people in Tim’s post, soultraveler3, who travels  around the world with her family on 25,000 dollars a year while her daughter plays the violin at each hop, I just don’t want to die with my song still in me.

I also feel that it’s pretty easy for people to write about their successes after they’ve made it, so I think it would be an interesting change for people to be reading from someone who’s only on the path to “making it”.

I’ve pretty much lived my life in reverse.  As a young, single dad many years ago, I was unwillingly forced to grow up very fast until it I couldn’t handle it any longer.  Then, a miraculous thing happened – I looked within myself and realized I was creating my unhappiness.  I realized I was the source of frustration -  and in short,  that was the start of how I became younger as I grew older.

Hopefully, I haven’t let good advice be wasted in my youth, so here is my advice for those who dare to aspire, for those who want to get younger as they grow older, from my youth to everyone of all ages:

Don’t worry about what other people think of you.  It’s mostly in your head.  You will be criticized and mocked (often by the ones closest to you) when you go out on a limb, but that is where all the fruit is.

Follow your intuition.  Men, this is particularly relevant to you since we tend to look at things too objectively.

Be okay with failure and rejection.

Be okay with losing friends who don’t support your new direction.  You will attract the right people into your life if you stay focused and on track.

Recognize the small successes for what they are – a seed planted for something bigger.

Stop judging others or yourself.  Give other people the benefit of the doubt.  In current terms, don’t be a hater.

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This year, I only have two New Year’s resolutions: avoid getting parking tickets and stop losing so many umbrellas.  That’s it.  They’re simple because my true goals are not made on the first day of every year.  It’s going to be the busiest time of the year for all fitness gyms as they sign on new members looking to get in shape, yet most gym employees will readily admit that 95% of new members will not show up after the first month.

Let’s stop the vicious cycle of making a sudden drastic change that goes nowhere and get something really accomplished.

Real goals are concrete, written down, and reviewed constantly.  I’m constantly on top of my goals, on track, and revising them as I meet them.  If you haven’t tried writing down your goals yet, it’s pretty simple.   Write them in every major category: health, wealth, career, family, relationships, spirituality, adventure, mental (new skills).  Write them for what you would like to reasonably achieve a year from now.  Then, write your 3 year, 5 year, and 10 year goals.

Next, comes the most important part: reviewing your goals constantly. I recommend journaling, either paper or digital.  Some people swear that pen and paper does wonders as the handwritten process makes them more connected with their written goals. I review them via a digital journal, and I often have so much to write.  At first, review them at least 2 or 3 times a week and write about how you’re on track with your goals or what plans you have to achieve them.  After half a year, you may tone it down to a weekly activity, but at least make sure you’re reading them.

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I’ve been sidetracked on my other projects because I really wanted to put this video out there before the year end.  I’m really happy to have the freedom to work on a creative project with no real purpose other than to put some good energy out into the universe.   It’s a video I’ve compiled from the video I’ve taken in my adventures and activities over the past few years (too bad I only started doing video a year ago!).

I’m not trying to tell everyone to do everything possible, but rather inspire people to live more freely.  If it inspires you, and you like it, please share.  I would like a video with a good message to spread out there rather than the negative conflict-driven material that often consumes us.  The song is “Everybody’s Free (Wear Sunscreen)” voiced by Baz Luhrmann.  It’s been 10 years since it came out and this is my 10-year tribute.  Again, feel free to share with as many people as possible.

All the best,

Ki’une

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This is the text of my speech I delivered a few weeks ago as the meeting’s Toastmaster.

Last week during table topics, I recanted a story about rock climbing at night in Mexico that led to my choice of today’s theme: Adventure.

Although the climb I described sounded incredibly dangerous and high – if this podium was the cliff, we were like ants – it wasn’t as scary as one might think.   My partner and I had years of experience climbing outdoors and had trained gradually to overcome our fear of heights and falling.  Nothing on the cliff itself surprised us other than the height, but at that height, our minds couldn’t really grasp the magnitude as everything below just looked like miniatures.  When we ran into a little trouble that night and our rope got caught while pulling it down, we didn’t panic.

We simply readjusted the remaining length of rope, used it safely to climb up and free the rope.  For me, climbing in the dark was new which did make me a bit nervous, but deep inside, I knew there was nothing to worry about.

Now, you don’t have to rock climb, jump out of an airplane, or backpack through Iraq to have an adventure.  On the contrary, the adventurous living I advocate involves breaking free of certain social conditioning and challenging yourself to improve your life circumstances, open up your mind, or just make every day more interesting.

I was at a friend’s house a few weeks ago when a quotation on her reusable Lululemon shopping bag caught my eye:

“Do one thing a day that scares you.”

In preparation for this week’s role as Toastmaster and the theme I chose, I decided to put it to the test.  Here we go.

Monday

Talk to an attractive girl on the subway under the glaring eyes and listening ears of strangers.  Get her phone number.

Tuesday

Take a big step into the world of entrepreneurship by linking my personal bank account to an online shopping cart I’ve been working on.

Wednesday

Rock climbing night.  Tackle that thin 5.12 climb – thin meaning it feels like climbing on tic tacs.  Take the big falls and keep trying.

Thursday

3 days are up!  Call the girl I met on the subway earlier on Monday.  I actually found this more nerve wracking than the approach.

Friday

Halloween night – enter a dance competition in front  of a crowd of people.  Still, it’s rather hard to do something adventurous on a day .  Promise to wear the afro on a day that’s not Halloween.

Saturday

Take a jazz funk dance class designed mostly for women.  Show up as the only guy.  Learn to dance sexy. (demonstrate move)

Sunday

Toughest day of them all.  After a lengthy hiatus in taking a major role at my Toastmasters club, take on the Toastmaster role and lead the meeting.

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News Keeps You Informed, Right?

When I was a little tike, my dad thought the same thing, and he introduced me to the daily newspaper. I began with the comics (minus Doonesbury because I didn’t understand the humor) and the front page. Soon I was devouring the entire first section. By the time I finished high school, my daily habit included reading most of the daily newspaper, and I believed anyone not informed on the news was an ignoramus.

Fast forward to the present day and I have since given up the news completely. Funny how things have changed.

News Makes You Negative

A few months ago, I was having a breakfast with my friend Thomas and his new girlfriend Jane. It was an awkward meal because Jane had a pretty strong personality, complained quite a bit about the restaurant, and continuously chose to talk about the news for conversation. Many of her sentences resembled in one form or another: “Did you hear about …“, “It’s so awful“, “I can’t believe…“.

Out of curiosity, I asked her, “Do you read the news often?”

Her reply was, “Yes, I love the news. It’s an addiction. Every morning I read all The Toronto Star, The National Post, and The Globe and Mail. I like to keep up to date on current events.”

Constant news exposure can invade your subconscious, resulting in you complaining more, becoming more pessimistic, and being difficult to satisfy. If your news source is a biased publications, then you’ll easily become more opinionated on a subject, feel the need to be right (and others wrong) about your views, reinforce certain beliefs, and swallow points of views verbatim, no questions asked. Seriously, when is the last time any of us have read an Afghani or Iraqi newspaper?

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In my previous article on meditation, I introduced the benefits of meditating. In this article, I’ll offer some tips on getting on the meditation track.

When I first started doing meditation, I couldn’t believe how difficult it was to stay focused. Unless I was concentrating on a climb, getting into a meditative state was elusive given my rambling mind. But, just like all things, persistence and practice eventually yielded results.

And this one’s worth it.

What’s happening is that our mind is accustomed to be constantly on the move. Reflecting on past events. Worrying about the future. Processing negative distracting information. But not being at peace in the present moment, which is the only place to be. Sometimes I would meditate for an hour, and feel like I’ve only gotten a grand total of 1 minute silence.

The unconscious mind is strong and resists your attempts at neutralizing it. If you’ve tried meditation, and find yourself becoming impatient or fidgety, then meditation is even more important to do. Dont’ fret. What you’re doing is breaking a habit that you’ve carried as long as you lived and creating one of the best habits you’ll ever have, so give it time!

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calibrate: v 1 “make fine adjustments for optimal functioning”

When I first came across the concept of meditation, like many people in our busy society, I thought it was an incredible waste of time. I mean, after all, it simply required one to sit there and be seemingly “unproductive”.

This all changed after a fortunate series of events brought me to meditation. I met an amazing rock climber in Kentucky, and when I asked her for the secret to her skill, she replied “Yoga”. I immediately took up yoga afterwards, and after doing it a number of times, I noticed the incredible calmness I experienced during shavasana, or the final relaxation pose after a strenuous stretching session.

Meditation in Extreme Situations

If you like extreme sports, chances are you’ve cleared your mind and have had conscious meditative states already.

When I was outdoors rock climbing, especially on difficult and high problems, I became intensely focused on the climb, to avoid the unpleasant feeling of a fall if I made a mistake. Though I would never do a climb where my partner and I weren’t very safe, a big fall is still harrowing nonetheless.

At the time, I couldn’t explain it. All I knew was that I was focused immensely on my next immediate moves, and afterwards, could only explain it as “becoming really connected with nature.” The same could be said if I was white water kayaking a big rapid or speeding through the tree runs on my snowboard.

For a while, I was addicted to these sports, particularly rock climbing, because when I was dangling on rock faces high above the ground, I actually forgot about all my problems. I was in the moment. Focused on every movement. The only thought held in my mind was the climbing route. It might seem to be a rather extreme way to forget one’s problems, but at one point in time, my mind was running around like a headless chicken. My “problems” really bothered me a lot – I would be thinking about them before I got on the climb and after my climbing trip was over.

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