Consciousness And Being In The Moment

Mary Schmich penned the article  “Advice, Like Youth, Probably Just Wasted on the Young” many years ago to which my Sunscreen Song Tribute is derived from.

Following the release of my video on Timothy Ferriss’ blog, a lot of people asked me for some life advice.  The truth is, just like Tim wrote about himself in his book, I’m not dirty rich nor do I wish to be.   I’m actually still on the path and don’t believe I’ve made it … yet(*).

I drive a 12-year old Honda Civic which I mostly maintain myself.  My sister-in-law gives me homecuts (albeit very good homecuts).  I’ve never owned a dishwasher, though I fantasize once in a while about having one in the distant future.  Instead of dinner and a movie dates, I choose “cost-efficient” dates such as going to public markets, having impromptu picnics, and surfing vintage thrift stores.

However, I will readily admit that I have planted the seed, and I am on a very good path.

Like one of the other featured people in Tim’s post, soultraveler3, who travels  around the world with her family on 25,000 dollars a year while her daughter plays the violin at each hop, I just don’t want to die with my song still in me.

I also feel that it’s pretty easy for people to write about their successes after they’ve made it, so I think it would be an interesting change for people to be reading from someone who’s only on the path to “making it”.

I’ve pretty much lived my life in reverse.  As a young, single dad many years ago, I was unwillingly forced to grow up very fast until it I couldn’t handle it any longer.  Then, a miraculous thing happened – I looked within myself and realized I was creating my unhappiness.  I realized I was the source of frustration -  and in short,  that was the start of how I became younger as I grew older.

Hopefully, I haven’t let good advice be wasted in my youth, so here is my advice for those who dare to aspire, for those who want to get younger as they grow older, from my youth to everyone of all ages:

Don’t worry about what other people think of you.  It’s mostly in your head.  You will be criticized and mocked (often by the ones closest to you) when you go out on a limb, but that is where all the fruit is.

Follow your intuition.  Men, this is particularly relevant to you since we tend to look at things too objectively.

Be okay with failure and rejection.

Be okay with losing friends who don’t support your new direction.  You will attract the right people into your life if you stay focused and on track.

Recognize the small successes for what they are – a seed planted for something bigger.

Stop judging others or yourself.  Give other people the benefit of the doubt.  In current terms, don’t be a hater.

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This year, I only have two New Year’s resolutions: avoid getting parking tickets and stop losing so many umbrellas.  That’s it.  They’re simple because my true goals are not made on the first day of every year.  It’s going to be the busiest time of the year for all fitness gyms as they sign on new members looking to get in shape, yet most gym employees will readily admit that 95% of new members will not show up after the first month.

Let’s stop the vicious cycle of making a sudden drastic change that goes nowhere and get something really accomplished.

Real goals are concrete, written down, and reviewed constantly.  I’m constantly on top of my goals, on track, and revising them as I meet them.  If you haven’t tried writing down your goals yet, it’s pretty simple.   Write them in every major category: health, wealth, career, family, relationships, spirituality, adventure, mental (new skills).  Write them for what you would like to reasonably achieve a year from now.  Then, write your 3 year, 5 year, and 10 year goals.

Next, comes the most important part: reviewing your goals constantly. I recommend journaling, either paper or digital.  Some people swear that pen and paper does wonders as the handwritten process makes them more connected with their written goals. I review them via a digital journal, and I often have so much to write.  At first, review them at least 2 or 3 times a week and write about how you’re on track with your goals or what plans you have to achieve them.  After half a year, you may tone it down to a weekly activity, but at least make sure you’re reading them.

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I’ve been sidetracked on my other projects because I really wanted to put this video out there before the year end.  I’m really happy to have the freedom to work on a creative project with no real purpose other than to put some good energy out into the universe.   It’s a video I’ve compiled from the video I’ve taken in my adventures and activities over the past few years (too bad I only started doing video a year ago!).

I’m not trying to tell everyone to do everything possible, but rather inspire people to live more freely.  If it inspires you, and you like it, please share.  I would like a video with a good message to spread out there rather than the negative conflict-driven material that often consumes us.  The song is “Everybody’s Free (Wear Sunscreen)” voiced by Baz Luhrmann.  It’s been 10 years since it came out and this is my 10-year tribute.  Again, feel free to share with as many people as possible.

All the best,

Ki’une

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Continuing on my thoughts on the “Children Full of Life” series, I thought about how I consider my son to be a great teacher after watching the above clip (part 3).  Children see things differently, and it’s important to treat them as equals.  Recently, I’ve facing quite a lot of uncertainty as I uproot myself from my current routines and try something new.  I try my best to keep centered, but last week, my son asked me:

“Daddy, where’s your happy face?”

Xeius went on about how I used to always have it, and recently I didn’t.  He was right.  My worry was written all over my face, and I probably was affecting the people around me and particularly him.  I remember the last time I faced such uncertainty, it was when I had him.  Xeius came at what I could say was an inconvenient time, and I wasn’t prepared to be a father.  Funny how things have changed and now he’s my teacher.

So, often I observe my son for simplicity.  For example, he’s got a LOT of fancy toys given to him by lots of people who love him.  When he’s visiting me, I don’t have a lot of toys to offer him, but he doesn’t care.  He can spend hours on end searching and playing with bugs under rocks, riding a bike with me, or by making new friends in the playground.

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This video series on how Japanese kids are taught compassion sparked a thought.  A good friend of mine and mentor, George, often discusses with me his vision of what schools should be like.   He tells me that they should go beyond the formal institutions that they are now and teach necessary life skills.  In some ways, community colleges seem to address this more than many prestigious universities.  They’re practical and down to earth.

George was a dropout who lived off the streets for almost a decade before picking himself up and becoming a successful entrepreneur.  I myself took the opposite route – I went to university, finished a challenging engineering degree, and did the grind until I realized it was not for me.  I also realized almost all the heavy theory I learned in school had no practical application in the workplace.  Many of my colleagues told me the same.  For the people skills that I really needed, I had to go out and learn them on my own – through traveling, taking Toastmasters, social dynamics, etc.

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News Keeps You Informed, Right?

When I was a little tike, my dad thought the same thing, and he introduced me to the daily newspaper. I began with the comics (minus Doonesbury because I didn’t understand the humor) and the front page. Soon I was devouring the entire first section. By the time I finished high school, my daily habit included reading most of the daily newspaper, and I believed anyone not informed on the news was an ignoramus.

Fast forward to the present day and I have since given up the news completely. Funny how things have changed.

News Makes You Negative

A few months ago, I was having a breakfast with my friend Thomas and his new girlfriend Jane. It was an awkward meal because Jane had a pretty strong personality, complained quite a bit about the restaurant, and continuously chose to talk about the news for conversation. Many of her sentences resembled in one form or another: “Did you hear about …“, “It’s so awful“, “I can’t believe…“.

Out of curiosity, I asked her, “Do you read the news often?”

Her reply was, “Yes, I love the news. It’s an addiction. Every morning I read all The Toronto Star, The National Post, and The Globe and Mail. I like to keep up to date on current events.”

Constant news exposure can invade your subconscious, resulting in you complaining more, becoming more pessimistic, and being difficult to satisfy. If your news source is a biased publications, then you’ll easily become more opinionated on a subject, feel the need to be right (and others wrong) about your views, reinforce certain beliefs, and swallow points of views verbatim, no questions asked. Seriously, when is the last time any of us have read an Afghani or Iraqi newspaper?

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In my previous article on meditation, I introduced the benefits of meditating. In this article, I’ll offer some tips on getting on the meditation track.

When I first started doing meditation, I couldn’t believe how difficult it was to stay focused. Unless I was concentrating on a climb, getting into a meditative state was elusive given my rambling mind. But, just like all things, persistence and practice eventually yielded results.

And this one’s worth it.

What’s happening is that our mind is accustomed to be constantly on the move. Reflecting on past events. Worrying about the future. Processing negative distracting information. But not being at peace in the present moment, which is the only place to be. Sometimes I would meditate for an hour, and feel like I’ve only gotten a grand total of 1 minute silence.

The unconscious mind is strong and resists your attempts at neutralizing it. If you’ve tried meditation, and find yourself becoming impatient or fidgety, then meditation is even more important to do. Dont’ fret. What you’re doing is breaking a habit that you’ve carried as long as you lived and creating one of the best habits you’ll ever have, so give it time!

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calibrate: v 1 “make fine adjustments for optimal functioning”

When I first came across the concept of meditation, like many people in our busy society, I thought it was an incredible waste of time. I mean, after all, it simply required one to sit there and be seemingly “unproductive”.

This all changed after a fortunate series of events brought me to meditation. I met an amazing rock climber in Kentucky, and when I asked her for the secret to her skill, she replied “Yoga”. I immediately took up yoga afterwards, and after doing it a number of times, I noticed the incredible calmness I experienced during shavasana, or the final relaxation pose after a strenuous stretching session.

Meditation in Extreme Situations

If you like extreme sports, chances are you’ve cleared your mind and have had conscious meditative states already.

When I was outdoors rock climbing, especially on difficult and high problems, I became intensely focused on the climb, to avoid the unpleasant feeling of a fall if I made a mistake. Though I would never do a climb where my partner and I weren’t very safe, a big fall is still harrowing nonetheless.

At the time, I couldn’t explain it. All I knew was that I was focused immensely on my next immediate moves, and afterwards, could only explain it as “becoming really connected with nature.” The same could be said if I was white water kayaking a big rapid or speeding through the tree runs on my snowboard.

For a while, I was addicted to these sports, particularly rock climbing, because when I was dangling on rock faces high above the ground, I actually forgot about all my problems. I was in the moment. Focused on every movement. The only thought held in my mind was the climbing route. It might seem to be a rather extreme way to forget one’s problems, but at one point in time, my mind was running around like a headless chicken. My “problems” really bothered me a lot – I would be thinking about them before I got on the climb and after my climbing trip was over.

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In their book Ask And It Is Given, Esther and Jerry Hicks strongly encourage using your emotions consciously as a guiding tool for your actions.  That is, if you put yourself into a positive state, then you can manifest your destiny via the Law of Attraction.

It is not usually possible, however, to make a sustained jump across several emotions at once.  That is, you could make a temporary jump  from overwhelment to contentment during a 2-week trip to Mount Kilimanjaro, but once you come back, the overwhelment will rear its ugly head again.

First, identify which emotions you’re consistently in.  Then, use positive thought manipulation to move up the scale, one emotion at a time.  For more details on doing this, read any of the Abraham-Hicks books.

It’s an interesting concept to have emotions laid out and ranked, but worth trying out.   What I find the most useful is to be aware of your emotions.   It is through awareness that we regain control of them and move towards more positive states.

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