Courage And Confronting Fear

Mary Schmich penned the article  “Advice, Like Youth, Probably Just Wasted on the Young” many years ago to which my Sunscreen Song Tribute is derived from.

Following the release of my video on Timothy Ferriss’ blog, a lot of people asked me for some life advice.  The truth is, just like Tim wrote about himself in his book, I’m not dirty rich nor do I wish to be.   I’m actually still on the path and don’t believe I’ve made it … yet(*).

I drive a 12-year old Honda Civic which I mostly maintain myself.  My sister-in-law gives me homecuts (albeit very good homecuts).  I’ve never owned a dishwasher, though I fantasize once in a while about having one in the distant future.  Instead of dinner and a movie dates, I choose “cost-efficient” dates such as going to public markets, having impromptu picnics, and surfing vintage thrift stores.

However, I will readily admit that I have planted the seed, and I am on a very good path.

Like one of the other featured people in Tim’s post, soultraveler3, who travels  around the world with her family on 25,000 dollars a year while her daughter plays the violin at each hop, I just don’t want to die with my song still in me.

I also feel that it’s pretty easy for people to write about their successes after they’ve made it, so I think it would be an interesting change for people to be reading from someone who’s only on the path to “making it”.

I’ve pretty much lived my life in reverse.  As a young, single dad many years ago, I was unwillingly forced to grow up very fast until it I couldn’t handle it any longer.  Then, a miraculous thing happened – I looked within myself and realized I was creating my unhappiness.  I realized I was the source of frustration -  and in short,  that was the start of how I became younger as I grew older.

Hopefully, I haven’t let good advice be wasted in my youth, so here is my advice for those who dare to aspire, for those who want to get younger as they grow older, from my youth to everyone of all ages:

Don’t worry about what other people think of you.  It’s mostly in your head.  You will be criticized and mocked (often by the ones closest to you) when you go out on a limb, but that is where all the fruit is.

Follow your intuition.  Men, this is particularly relevant to you since we tend to look at things too objectively.

Be okay with failure and rejection.

Be okay with losing friends who don’t support your new direction.  You will attract the right people into your life if you stay focused and on track.

Recognize the small successes for what they are – a seed planted for something bigger.

Stop judging others or yourself.  Give other people the benefit of the doubt.  In current terms, don’t be a hater.

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This year, I only have two New Year’s resolutions: avoid getting parking tickets and stop losing so many umbrellas.  That’s it.  They’re simple because my true goals are not made on the first day of every year.  It’s going to be the busiest time of the year for all fitness gyms as they sign on new members looking to get in shape, yet most gym employees will readily admit that 95% of new members will not show up after the first month.

Let’s stop the vicious cycle of making a sudden drastic change that goes nowhere and get something really accomplished.

Real goals are concrete, written down, and reviewed constantly.  I’m constantly on top of my goals, on track, and revising them as I meet them.  If you haven’t tried writing down your goals yet, it’s pretty simple.   Write them in every major category: health, wealth, career, family, relationships, spirituality, adventure, mental (new skills).  Write them for what you would like to reasonably achieve a year from now.  Then, write your 3 year, 5 year, and 10 year goals.

Next, comes the most important part: reviewing your goals constantly. I recommend journaling, either paper or digital.  Some people swear that pen and paper does wonders as the handwritten process makes them more connected with their written goals. I review them via a digital journal, and I often have so much to write.  At first, review them at least 2 or 3 times a week and write about how you’re on track with your goals or what plans you have to achieve them.  After half a year, you may tone it down to a weekly activity, but at least make sure you’re reading them.

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I’ve been sidetracked on my other projects because I really wanted to put this video out there before the year end.  I’m really happy to have the freedom to work on a creative project with no real purpose other than to put some good energy out into the universe.   It’s a video I’ve compiled from the video I’ve taken in my adventures and activities over the past few years (too bad I only started doing video a year ago!).

I’m not trying to tell everyone to do everything possible, but rather inspire people to live more freely.  If it inspires you, and you like it, please share.  I would like a video with a good message to spread out there rather than the negative conflict-driven material that often consumes us.  The song is “Everybody’s Free (Wear Sunscreen)” voiced by Baz Luhrmann.  It’s been 10 years since it came out and this is my 10-year tribute.  Again, feel free to share with as many people as possible.

All the best,

Ki’une

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This is the text of my speech I delivered a few weeks ago as the meeting’s Toastmaster.

Last week during table topics, I recanted a story about rock climbing at night in Mexico that led to my choice of today’s theme: Adventure.

Although the climb I described sounded incredibly dangerous and high – if this podium was the cliff, we were like ants – it wasn’t as scary as one might think.   My partner and I had years of experience climbing outdoors and had trained gradually to overcome our fear of heights and falling.  Nothing on the cliff itself surprised us other than the height, but at that height, our minds couldn’t really grasp the magnitude as everything below just looked like miniatures.  When we ran into a little trouble that night and our rope got caught while pulling it down, we didn’t panic.

We simply readjusted the remaining length of rope, used it safely to climb up and free the rope.  For me, climbing in the dark was new which did make me a bit nervous, but deep inside, I knew there was nothing to worry about.

Now, you don’t have to rock climb, jump out of an airplane, or backpack through Iraq to have an adventure.  On the contrary, the adventurous living I advocate involves breaking free of certain social conditioning and challenging yourself to improve your life circumstances, open up your mind, or just make every day more interesting.

I was at a friend’s house a few weeks ago when a quotation on her reusable Lululemon shopping bag caught my eye:

“Do one thing a day that scares you.”

In preparation for this week’s role as Toastmaster and the theme I chose, I decided to put it to the test.  Here we go.

Monday

Talk to an attractive girl on the subway under the glaring eyes and listening ears of strangers.  Get her phone number.

Tuesday

Take a big step into the world of entrepreneurship by linking my personal bank account to an online shopping cart I’ve been working on.

Wednesday

Rock climbing night.  Tackle that thin 5.12 climb – thin meaning it feels like climbing on tic tacs.  Take the big falls and keep trying.

Thursday

3 days are up!  Call the girl I met on the subway earlier on Monday.  I actually found this more nerve wracking than the approach.

Friday

Halloween night – enter a dance competition in front  of a crowd of people.  Still, it’s rather hard to do something adventurous on a day .  Promise to wear the afro on a day that’s not Halloween.

Saturday

Take a jazz funk dance class designed mostly for women.  Show up as the only guy.  Learn to dance sexy. (demonstrate move)

Sunday

Toughest day of them all.  After a lengthy hiatus in taking a major role at my Toastmasters club, take on the Toastmaster role and lead the meeting.

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One of my favorite climbing films of all times is King Lines. It features renowned climber Chris Sharma, where after over 100 scary attempts on a route hovering over crashing waves, he finally ascends his project route (unclimbed, unfinished, and spectacularly difficult) . What’s really compelling about this film is just seeing Sharma’s focus and determination, on and off the wall.

In the final scene, after pondering upon the recent passing of his mother and his life ambitions, Sharma reflects, “We don’t know when we’re going to go. We don’t know when we’re going to die, so if something is important that I want to do then, I got to go for it now. ”

Well said, but more importantly, he puts action to his words, returns to his project route, and finishes it.

Our King Lines

Most of us are so caught up in the trials of life that we just live it to get by or to get to the next thing. Our dreams are put on hold indefinitely or even worse, someday – When I have this amount of money in the bank, When my kids finish school, When I am retired. You know what I’m talking about.

The fact is, now will never be the perfectly right time, especially if “the time” is dependent on external factors. It’s not much different from waiting for signs like the planets lining up while the parrot in the pet store mysteriously squawks “Go for it!”

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