One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things. 

-John Burroughs

If you’ve read my New Year’s post from two years back, you know how I feel about them – real resolutions aren’t made around this time.  Really, don’t bother with making a habit of resolving to do anything – that’s saved for the masses that relish pre-determined seasonal routines: a dozen roses on Valentine’s day, getting wasted on St. Patrick’s day, camping out for deals on Black Friday/Boxing Day, etc.

As I look upon my past year, I can say that I have a good recollection of most days, and a vivid memory of a select number of days.  Driven by a desire to experiment and create, I constantly, and perhaps slightly perilously, put myself in a state of change and challenge.  Doing my best to stay true to the “do one thing every day that scares you” maxim, my days never blended into one another in a forgettable haze.

Some days I would attempt a conversation in a foreign language.  Some days I would strike up conversation with attractive women in public.  Some days I would be on the dance floor making a scene, the good way, in a nightclub on the other side of the world.  Some days I was trying out new business ideas.  Almost every day I was either creating or learning something new.  Keeping this blog updated is a part of it, since non-technical writing was never my forte.  Though I can’t lay out days past photographically, I can say that the feeling from the moment I woke up to the end of any day was never tiring like it was in my office days.  I may have been burnt out at the end of some days, but it was a satisfying tiredness.

And, believe it or not, I wasn’t travelling most of the time.  Having a memorable year due to long-term travel is almost a given, and, although creating the circumstances for long-term travel requires more determination and fortitude, the journey to getting there is nonetheless simultaneously memorable.  If you have indeed been travelling for the past year, then I’ll assume you’re in a pleasant place reading this post with a smile, wherever you may be.  As for myself, strangely enough, while I coasted through different parts of the world, I felt that beyond working on my video projects, I didn’t really need to travel so much.  I realized I would have been just as content being in one place working on great projects, and as a result, that’s where I am now.

Not surprisingly, the lifestyle I have chosen also comes with many ups and downs.  I have my share of loss and failure.  At the same time, I feel like I’ve condensed five years of learning into one.  Getting used to the roller coaster does require some grit, but so long as I don’t stay down, loss becomes determination, which in turn is a motivating force – not the other way around.  You’ll always remember a loss, but if you allow one or many to take over you, perhaps in the form of a depression, then your days will no longer be memorable.  Instead, you will remain in that same murky haze, waiting for each painful day to pass.

So, given what I’ve said, how can you spend the first few days of the New Year?

If you have some written goals, it’s a fun time to review them.  Read them over.  See where you are.  Revise them as needed – things change along the way.    For instance, if you’re a goal newbie, you may find that material goals may decrease while personal goals such as having better relationships, balance, and mental peace to be at the forefront.  Jotting them down, and then looking back on them in a journal is a fun idea because it’s really interesting to see your progress.  And remember, goals are never really a destination – be in it for the journey.  As I may have mentioned before, I actually don’t review written goals often – I’ve more or less internalized them, and question my progress frequently.

If  you’re already in a place where you’re taking action, perhaps from reading this blog , then congratulations!  Give yourself a pat on the back and simply continue doing what you’ve been doing.  Being on track is a noble place to be, and if I’ve helped, I’m glad to have been a stepping stone on your journey.

If, on the other hand, you haven’t made any significant steps towards change, then at least be honest to yourself right now and acknowledge your shortcomings.  This is the first step towards any change.  If you’ve found that, once again, you’re in this stage of non-action, then it’s really time to get serious with your determination.  There may be too much glut in your life, but I’ll have to save my productivity tips for later posts.  For now, just try to TAKE ACTION, TAKE ACTION, TAKE ACTION.

I’ll get real here.  The condition of mediocrity is putting up with a draining routine.  The daily routines that consume your time and siphon your life energy.  If your past year consisted mostly of an unending string of homogeneous daily routines, then there’s a good chance it wasn’t memorable.

What can you do?

First, I highly recommend eliminating.  Simplify.  Eliminate the routines that are draining you or your time.  Once you have eliminated, take another look at your routines, and eliminate some more.  This is not easy.  Eliminating requires deliberate action, because over time, draining routines camouflage themselves as necessary activities.  For example, giving up the news requires breaking a bad habit you might have previously thought was good.   You might need to put in considerable effort to resist typing in the URL of your favorite news site in your browser (or, if you’re technically savvy, redirect the URL).  Or, you may need to do something more drastic like my friend George does, such as giving away his TV.  Or, perhaps you may need to tackle a more difficult time-consuming routine like reducing the amount of time you commute to work.   This could require negotiating a remote working arrangement, moving closer to your workplace, or even changing jobs.

When you’ve eliminated enough, then maybe – I stress maybe, because first and foremost, focus on elimination – maybe, add one important (and preferably simple) routine.  An important activity is something that moves you towards a goal.  As Stephen Covey wrote, this is not to be confused with an urgent activity that needs to be done, such as grocery shopping or driving your kids to dance lessons.

With the important routines, your days will become something to remember.  For example, if you’ve always wanted to learn how to play the piano, then you would have to sign up for lessons and allot daily practice times.  If you wanted to become a better speaker, then you’d have to find a local Toastmasters club and attend weekly meetings.  If you wanted to be in better shape… well, at this time of the year, I hesitate at recommending going to the gym, as it’s more or less become a seasonal routine for many.  Instead, try finding a physical activity you actually like.  Many of my friends gravitate towards team pickup sports such as indoor soccer, ultimate frisbee, or softball.  I prefer rock climbing.

Coming full circle, remember, this post is written around the New Year, but is applicable at anytime.  Make it so that at any day of the year, whether it be on February 4th or November 7th, you can look back on the past 365 days and know that they were all well spent.  If you want this coming year to be a good one, focus on making each day memorable, even if just a small step, and a great year will be a reflection of the sum of its good little parts.

(Note: I’m on the road, so the the picture above is only half secondhand.  I’ll update the picture later, unless you like the current photo!)

Several years ago, when my son was born and I was unemployed,  I heavily swallowed my pride and went shopping for baby clothes at the neighbourhood Goodwill store.  As I walked up to the store, I took a deep breath, and put on my best nervous smile as I walked in.  I confessedly admit that I was a little embarrassed being in the store and worried about being seen.  After all, wasn’t this what “poor people” did?   I didn’t belong in there.  Being raised in a comfortable suburban existence my whole life, I had somehow elevated my perceived social status over the years.

Well, today I’m still shopping in thrift stores.  Those times I went baby clothing shopping really struck a chord with me, and it made me realize a few things.  Firstly, I noticed that most of the baby clothing was almost new.  I then realized that, new or not, that my infant son would never notice the difference.  Eventually, the same principle would apply to me.  I soon found some surprisingly good items for myself at the thrift stores, and purchased a few things to try on.

Months later, one of my friends took notice that I wore one shirt very often, and I told him that it was because it looked great and was very comfortable.  I then remembered that it was a secondhand shirt, and I had totally forgotten that it was used a long, long time ago – probably after the third time wearing it.   Later, I would go on and brag to friends about how much and where I scored my snazzy designer shirt for.

Isn’t it funny how something can go from embarrassment to elation?

Well, in the spirit of the season of buying and getting, I thought I’d spend today enjoying what I have, which is clothing that used to belong to someone else.  Here’s what I’m wearing:

• Banana Republic long sleeve top.  I picked it up for $3 in a Goodwill store in Maui.

• No name blazer that fits me perfectly. $3 at Goodwill in Toronto.

• No name slacks that fit me perfectly.  $6 at Value Village in Toronto

With my clothing ensemble put together, I could probably go cavorting around cocktail parties and hobnob at black-tie affairs if I choose to, but instead, I’m spending my time dancing street dancing in the snow.   I definitely don’t have to worry about damaging expensive clothing since what I’m wearing is pretty durable.

Last year, I wrote about reducing the stuff at this time of the year.  Really, it’s all just carbon in different forms.  If you actually have the courage, try going  to a crowded mall or department store right now, taking a walk, and looking around.  Take a look at the exercise machines, the kitchen gadgets, and novelty gifts and seeing how much of a burden it could be to have all of it.  OK, maybe those things are easy not to have, but does a similar feeling arouse in you when you see a cute pair of “must-have” boots, a news lens for your SLR, or the latest iPhone or iPad?

Most of us are probably already going to spend less since the global economy isn’t so hot, so perhaps you’ve already looked for more creative means.  However, reducing stuff doesn’t necessarily mean spending less.  A nice dinner out, tickets to a musical, or a small trip can cost more than an average gift.  This is fine, and I’m not discouraging spending.  If you do need to buy a gadget, it’s okay if you know you’ll use it often and for a long time.  However, I would recommend you don’t buy gadgets for other people, because there’s a good chance they won’t use it as much as you would like.  Vice versa, make it known that it’s okay that your friends don’t give you anything beyond hugs and good company.

For this holiday season, I’m mostly passing on the stuff buying, but I will celebrate the holidays by having memorable times with friends and family.  I’d also like to hear your thoughts on creative ways to enjoy your holidays, so please leave a comment if you have something to share!

Cheers and happy holidays!

Two years ago, when I first went temporarily homeless willingly, it was a bittersweet pill to swallow.  I had quietly left Toronto with little support, and actually, to a bit of criticism.  As I tucked my -10 degree sleeping bag over myself in preparation for a cold night in my car, somewhere along the interstate between Wisconsin and South Dakota, I confess I felt a little alone with a tinge of self-pity over my life situation.

I wasn’t used to not knowing where I would be the next day or week.  I wasn’t used to not having a familiar place to return to.  I wasn’t used to the uncertainty.   I wasn’t sure how long I could pull of such a lifestyle or if I had made the right choice.  I wasn’t used to being in the full driver seat of my life and having so much control over my time and location.

So there I was, watching the snow fall on my car, lost in a moment of doubt, wondering if the next days, weeks, and months would lead to something fruitful…

…

Fortunately, it was a short-lived moment because I remembered, this is what I wanted.

I wanted to pick up and leave off, not weighed down by a long rent lease or mortgage payments.

I wanted to live somewhere else in the world.

I wanted to know what life was like for other people, outside my familiar surroundings.

I wanted the freedom to go wherever, whenever, I pleased.

That was my first taste of that life.  And I loved it.  It wasn’t long ago, but thinking of sleeping by myself in that cold car and cooking breakfast at a Walmart picnic table the next morning sounds beautifully nostalgic now.  It was the start of discovering some purpose in my life, and that I was moving towards that unknown purpose.

Since then, if you’ve followed me on Twitter or Facebook, you’ve probably seen that I’ve moved around quite a bit, often finding a place to stay, but sometimes not.  Every time I cross a border and fill in the entry card, I’m not sure what to write when I reach the “Address of Accommodations” box.  I’ve been homeless at times on two continents since that first night in my car and must have slept in over 50 different places in the past year.  Let me set something straight though.  I’m not glamourizing being homeless because I know it’s not always great for those who haven’t chosen it.  Being homeless may sound bad to most, but in my case, it’s not.  It’s like a side salad that comes with my choices, and I accept it graciously.

Many posts ago, I turned a few heads when I wrote that if you want something, you have to want it really badly, almost like it’s a life-threatening situation.  Really think about that again.  If there’s something you want, what are you willing to do for it?  What comforts and routines are you willing to give up?

I see this situation all the time now.  I see someone who wants something really bad, gets a momentary adrenaline pump, and genuinely seems to want to go for it.  And then, reality, other people’s reality, kicks them in the butt.  “Reality” people bombard the dreamers with their “expertise”, tell them the flaws with their plan, or raise doubt in the dreamer’s mind:  It’s already been done.  What are you going to do when you come back?  How are you going to survive? No one’s done that before.  (To me, the last statement sounds like opportunity!)

Alas, as soon as the dream has come, it just as quickly disappears.  The rookie dreamer realizes he/she can’t give up their security, lifestyle, or even creature comforts to pursue a dream.  They sink back into their routines.  The dream becomes taboo to talk about – regret brushed under the carpet.  I don’t blame them.  Once you get stuck in a certain familiar lifestyle and routine, it’s hard to enact change.

Perhaps it’s not natural to experience so much upheaval and uncertainty.  For many people, even a mild disruption to their daily patterns – a subway delay, bad coffee, daylight savings time (the lose-an-hour spring one) – warrants a mild panic attack or generates enough cause for a rant.  Maybe unpredictability shortens your life, but I’d choose a short, well-lived life over a long, mediocre one in a heartbeat.

Look, you don’t have to liquidate your house and assets and leave like I did to pursue a dream or to live on purpose.  But what about eliminating some excess in your life?  How about trimming some of that fat, like the time wasted accumulating things or trying to please everyone in your life?  What about negotiating more free time for yourself?  What about giving up a few hours of sleep or TV each night to work on something important?  What about seriously breaking your old programming, your old routines, and your definition of reality?

The late Steve Jobs said, “Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice.”   Digest what Steve said for a moment.  Then turn the switch on.

Now,

…

… define your reality.

…

…

Next,

…

… believe in it!

The following excerpt is written by my good friend, George, who’s posted here before.  George is a high school dropout turned financially free, self-made business owner and serial entrepreneur.  This time around, he brings his sarcasm and wit to talk about personal empowerment.

“In our life time, family will be a thing of the past, prostitution will be legal, medication will be treated like morning coffee, and taxation will be instantaneous. Isn’t the future great!”

- Anonymous

As I am walking to the tanning studio, I see one, two, then three new mobility scooters zip past me, which I assume are for people having a hard time walking or just can’t walk. But something does not smell right to me – two to three years ago, when there were almost no scooters on the street in my neighbourhood, were all these people just stuck in their apartments?

I enter the tanning studio and say hello to my tanning host, Tasha.  I also spot two older women in their late 50’s or early 60’s sitting, and I guess, waiting for their turn.  One has superb legs for her age, and I can tell she knows it.  She has a short skirt on, accentuating her legs.  After overhearing a few typical flirty exchanges with Tasha, one of the women speaks up:  “Well aren’t we a little cocky today?”

I smile and reply, “It’s only confidence with a strong foundation of self-worth”.

After a few more exchanges she remarks, “You know, I know what being sure of yourself is.  I had more surgeries on my foot then I can count and I refuse to give up”.  I look at her foot and in astonishment, I see that all her toes have been amputated and she wears two costume shoes to conceal her impairment.  I was baffled at how she was able to balance herself.  Amazing.

Now I really like this lady – she’s hard-headed, refuses to give up, and looks after herself (even though she smokes, but who cares).  I proceed to tell her about all the people I saw on mobility scooters while coming to the studio.

She smugly replies, “Ha!  My doctor tried pushing me on to one of those.  I told him he was out of his fucking mind”.   We then discuss old age homes, and how both of us would fight to the very end before living in one of those graveyards.

A healthy balance in life does include admitting that you will need someone’s help one day.  We collect credits (as I like to call them) by helping friends and family now, and the day will come for all of us when we need to cash in the credits and ask for help.  But giving up and stuffing your face with fast food, feeling depressed in wintertime and asking for a blue pill, or smoking 2 packs a day and then asking your doctor to hook you up with a scooter, is just shameful.

Eat, smoke, and feel blue – but take responsibility. What are you saying to your fellow man and kids growing up?  Seeing this sends a strong messag: It’s okay to give up, because papa government will look after you.

I have a challenge for anyone reading this article and not agreeing just a little.

1. Go to any Chinatown and try finding mobility scooters. Count the canes, strollers, and wheelchairs.  You will see a few canes but no scooters. It’s also a good idea to count the old people as well.  Since you’re there, also count the overweight people (good luck on that one).

2. Now leave Chinatown and start counting again.

There are places in the world, particularly North America and some Western European nations, where no one is allowed to fall through the cracks. In these countries, if you fall, you’re given prescription remedies, scooters, shitty checks, or maybe if you are lucky – the walking dead to live with. Some of these remedies are a slow downward spiral to nothingness – they KILL the human spirit.

All great life changing events come from misery.  95% of this misery is our own faults and 5% is just life throwing you a curve-ball, because shit happens. This is the stuff that makes us great, makes our society healthy, and pushes us to rely on the greatest thing life gives all of us – the “each other”, the great virtues of life such as humility, compassion, mentoring, and facing fears.

What can we do? Well, when I spend a length of time back in Eastern Europe, my native home,  I notice an interesting trait amongst the locals, that could be seen as a double edged sword – but I think the positives outweighs the negatives. If you’re a woman and walking around the city with a nice shiny black eye, at least four strangers a day have to ask what happened to you.  This can be annoying, especially if all you did was walk into a door, but if your husband is beating you, you will get scolded with, “Who is this man?”, “Why are you still with him?”, “Does your father know?”, and so on.

Based on this, what I recommend is to start by talking to your friends more about what you really think about yourself, life, society, and them. Start taking a chance to let the world see you with all your wonderful warts; this will give you the right to point theirs out.  A true friend risks the friendship to let them know when they’re fucking up, e.g. “Hey Frank, you look like shit and if you stuff another greasy burger in your mouth, I will drown you in the pool.”

I will finish with this with a quick story.  I had a childhood friend of mine who allowed his phobias to run his life – in the end, he died young under questionable circumstances.  His death I couldn’t control, but I will always feel guilty not giving him a piece of my mind.  All I had to do was tell him how I thought and felt.  But instead, I never picked up the phone because I didn’t want to be uncomfortable.  Well, I will not make that mistake again.

In life, we see things around us, and because so many other people are doing it, we think the tide of change is pointing towards a new direction, and it must be good.  Well, I am here to tell you some tides are meant to drown us.  Don’t just give in and have them carry you away wherever they may go.  Take control, recognize the bad tides, and swim like hell the other way – even if you have no toes!

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.”
- Mark Twain

The following is a correspondence between a reader and myself, with some additional thoughts.   Edward chose a path in animation but recently discovered his passion was no longer there, and now he faces the choice of abandoning everything’s he built up until now if he chooses to venture on a new path.

————————

Ki’une,

Hello, my name is Edward, I’m from England and I’m a fan of yours. Being white and uncoordinated I was looking up ways to dance in clubs without embarrassing myself and I stumbled across your videos, and subsequently your blog. Your articles and your sunscreen video are a source of major inspiration to me, and lead me to question the way that I am leading my life, which I can’t thank you enough for.

I’m contacting you today because I’m looking for some guidance. I realise this isn’t your job or what you do and that you don’t know me from Adam (or I, you), but I am very interested in your outlook on my situation. Will you hear me out? If not, just ignore me, I won’t take it personal. I understand that this is all a little long winded and probably boring, but if you have the time I could really use your advice.
This is the bare bones of my situation;

I’m currently in the first year of an animation degree course. Three years ago I decided that I would become an animator. I made it my goal in life, and I was fixated on achieving it. I successfully made it into one of the best animation courses in the country and I am on the road to my goal as I planned. But once I made it onto the course and began in September I’ve been feeling my passion for animation slip away. Looking back I came to realise how my choice to pursue this dream was motivated only by the fact that I was scared of being a nobody and just drifting through life.

I haven’t been enjoying the course, but I’ve been lying to myself that I have. I’ve pushed through but I’m beginning to see the life I would have as an animator as undesirable. I’ve simply ceased to feel as though it is my purpose in life. I keep telling myself that my passion will return but the longer I cling on to my denial the more I wonder; am I just settling for animation? Just because ‘it’s the route I’m already headed down’ and ‘I’ve invested too much to quit’? I was scared of drifting through life, and now I realise that all I’ve done is determine the path I’m being swept down. I thought I was following my dream but now I realise I’m just settling.

I’m very happy with my life in the town where my uni is, but deep down I know that animation isn’t my dream anymore, which saddens me. For the first time in years my future is suddenly up in the air and I realise that I may have no other choice then to ‘start all over again’. Have you ever pursued something a dream and when it was in your grasp realised that the journey to get there had changed you and what you wanted so much so that your dream wasn’t even desirable to you anymore?

Thanks for putting up with reading that, I’d really appreciate a response – I’m not expecting you to magically make everything simple or solve all my problems, I just want to know what you think about it, as a person who also chases his dreams. Thank you.

~ Edward

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Below is my response:

Edward,

Believe it or not, I trained in computer animation when I was in second year university.  I was doing an engineering degree, wanted more creativity, and gave it a shot.  I co-oped in the industry, found out it was a labor farm and not as creative as I thought it would be, and decided it was not for me.  However, now that I do my own video projects, animation is much more interesting.

From my point of view, wanting to change when you’re only in the first year is a fantastic realization.  I painfully trudged through my engineering degree, and to this day, I still carry some regrets on not changing out. I also carry the weight of staying in a job I didn’t like for many years, which I will blog about in 1 or 2 articles.  Obviously, I don’t use almost anything I learned in school, and have carved my life out of whatever I set my heart to.

If you don’t know what to do, which many young people don’t, knowing what you DON’T want to do is just as good.

Before you embark on any path ask the question: Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path. The trouble is nobody asks the question; and when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him.

- Carlos Castaneda

All the best,
Ki’une

————————

My additional thoughts:

There’s a well-known factoid that we’re supposed to change careers 7 times in our lifetimes, but from my point of view, especially from people who have specialized post-secondary educations, it’s closer to zero.  Maybe you’ll switch departments, switch companies, or move to a dreaded (but well-paying) project management role, but for many, it all leads towards some form of monotony.  If you’ve ever watched the cult film Office Space, and noticed a scary resemblance to your own office life, then you’ll totally understand.

Here’s the situation breakdown.  You picked a path, built up so much momentum that it becomes seemingly impossible to turn back.    Edward’s lucky.  From my point of view, he’s pretty young and smart for that matter to take notice he’s headed towards many years of unhappiness.  When I was his age, I saw my department councillor to discuss if computer/electrical engineering was right for me.   The problem is, she also graduated from electrical engineering and did and couldn’t give me any straight answers.  I think if she just told me something cliche but meaningful like “follow your heart and the rest will follow”, I may have charted a new route, though of course, I was admittedly leaving my fate on the tip of someone else’s tongue.

Similarly, I can’t tell Edward what to do.  He has to take responsibility for his own decisions.  I can only share my own experiences from an action point of view.

What about you? Perhaps you can’t just jump ship right away.

It’s hard.  I’ve heard it before.  I once had a close colleague who tasted entrepreneurship before in her teenage years and frequently tinkered with the idea of starting up again at the water cooler.  When I parted ways from the company, I sought solace by asking her when she was planning to go out on his own.  Her response?  It’s hard.

I totally understand.  As you read in my response, I didn’t break free for a long time.   To be fair, I had many, many things going on the side, though engineering still consumed 80% of my attention.  I seriously built up my life as a Dilbert replica, from good grades to a good education to a good company, which you’ll read about more in later posts.

So perhaps you can’t jump ship quite so quickly, but if you have the option, recognize it as a rare opportunity.    You do, however, have to start investigating new avenues.  Just the searching part alone will reinvigorate your soul and you’ll be happier immediately.

Don’t waste any time weighing the  pros and cons if your heart has already spoken.  As Edward wrote, don’t lie to yourself and deny your heart.  Start moving.

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Edward’s follow-up I received today:

Ki’une,

Thank you again for the guidance you gave me the other day. I want you to know that I have since taken action and have quit my course, signed off, handed in my student card and threw out most of the work I didn’t need any more. I did all of this with a smile on my face. I was quite shocked by some people’s response to my quitting, most people have been really good about it. My tutors said ‘Good for you, that’s not an easy decision to come to and there will be people in your year now feeling the same way who won’t have the courage to quit and will finish the degree realising only then that they don’t want to work in animation’.

I don’t know where my life is headed or what will happen next, but I know now that it doesn’t matter, I’m not headed down the wrong road and if I keep searching the right one will present itself to me one day. Until then, it’s just important to enjoy the ride. I’m taking a train home soon to go and tell my parents what I’m doing, although I’m dreading it slightly, I have confidence in my decision, and that’s a kind of stability in it’s own way.

Thanks again,

~ Edward

Final thoughts.

Rarely do I see people express discontent and follow through with taking action about their life situation.  I truly believe Edward’s got many special things lined up for him.  Perhaps you’re in the same boat.  If you are, I hope our stories make you take a good look at where you heart wants you to go.

Beware what you set your heart upon, for it surely shall be yours.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

The following excerpt is written by my good friend, George.  George was a high school dropout who was caught up in drug and alcohol addictions for over a decade.  At 30, he had enough – he completely abstained from all substance abuse, and started the first of many businesses.  Now at 35, he’s financially free.  Having a lengthy experience with addiction problems, he has some extreme advice for handling our daily addictions. 

A simple foresight into the future, hold on to your reality because it will get real murky.

I am writing this in early 2011, but perhaps this article will be more interesting 5 years from now.  But here is what is going to happen in the next few years.  The perfect storm is brewing with technology as a hole, and Hollywood having access to cheaper technology.  Technology-infused culture will fog up our reality.  You may say big deal, so what? Well, monkey see monkey do.

The true test for people in the future is to remain grounded in reality and even that discussion will get clouded with the main stream media BS.  The symptoms are all there, everyone is starting to get a little narcotic over things that don’t really matter:  checking Facebook profiles 3 times a day, YouTube videos that entertain you for hours (or we think so) only to walk away feeling like you just flushed 5 hours of your life down the toilet.  Video games with virtual reality that can eat your mind and time.   Cable shows and mini-series that are so addictive that even I threw in the towel a few years ago.

Here are a few statistics to chew on:

1.       28 hours per week of TV (approximately 30% of your waking life)

2.       15 hours per week of Internet (15% of your life and most people have TV and internet…)

3.       12-24.5 hours playing video games per week.

The power of this black hole is simply “everyone seems to be doing it”, no one wants to be left out.   We have an evolution-based fear – “I don’t want the group to abandon me”.    Young people are the most vulnerable.

The solution that even I am having trouble with is this – do what has worked in the past 5000 years and be suspicious of the new.

• Get rid of your TV, they’re time killers and with endless amount of money and resources at their disposal you need to admit to yourself that they are smarter then you.  I am not talking about their shows, those could not be more stupid and unrealistic.

• Remove any if not all games and useless apps from you phone.

• Get rid of your video games  (If you are using it only 1-2 hours a week, my hat is off to you, I can’t do it).

• Have one computer in your life that you never use for entertainment (unless you have a healthy balance now)

• Read books.  Everyone needs to turn off and escape and while you are doing this, you can grow your imagination, vocabulary and keep your mind sharp.  I have a Kindle because all I can do with it is read; if I have an iPad there is too much distraction on it.

• The thing that makes people the happiest has not changed in 5000 years, it’s simple and for the most part free…..IT’S THE FRIENDSHIP OF OTHER PEOPLE.  Get out of your house and mingle.

In conclusion, we need to live our lives like we are writing a novel, every chapter can be pre-written and carried out. We have it all yet we are missing the core essence of it.

Technology should only be used as tools to help us grow, not take away that growth.

I want to share something really interesting with you today, being the first day of the New Year and all.  Two weeks ago, I was going through some old boxes for another iteration of giving away or throwing out stuff I didn’t need.  I found my old academic awards, accomplishments, academic books and reference materials, and work-related certifications – and then donated or recycled it all.  At this point in my life, I just feel they’re just empty bragging rights and things I don’t want to carry along with me as I vagabond.

However, amidst the piles of music certificates and Distributed Systems notes, I discovered a few sheets of stapled worksheets entitled “The Power of Momentum”.  Way back at the beginning of 2008, one of my friends asked me to go with him to a Tony-Robbins spin-off seminar.  It was free, highly-energetic, a bit cheesy as you would expect, but all done with good intentions (no up-selling).

Everyone was handed out some worksheets, and a highly-charged speaker  quickly led us through his group’s process of achieving New Year’s Resolutions, and more importantly – goals.  As you would expect with these types of seminars, every so often the speaker would lead everyone into loud, affirmative chants while getting us to stand up, cheer, and high-five around to keep the energy up.  Again, it’s cheesy but why not?

Fast forwarding to two weeks back, I had completely forgotten about the seminar and how concrete and specific those goals I wrote were.  As I stared at what I wrote down on those sheets, I had a deep internal Buddha laugh as realized page-by-page it had all came true.    Particularly on page 6:

In case you can’t read my writing or see the image, the question was:

What decisions might you make next year as a result?

And my answers:

• Quit my job.
• Start my own business.
• Do anything (but what I was doing before).
• Keep Traveling.
• Keep going out, socializing.
• Meet new people.
• Incorporate myself.

In short, if you’ve been following me, it’s all happened.  In fact, it was all completed a  year ago, though the socializing part is always ongoing (believe it or not, I’m naturally a slightly introverted person).   At the beginning of 2010, I wrote a post about real resolutions and goals – ones that are not made on January 1st of each year but continually worked on year-round .  In all fairness, I’ve had written goals before, though since it was digital, I’ve overwritten it several times over.  This however, was a snapshot at the beginning of 2008.

My short term one-year goals are reviewed daily.  I haven’t been checking in on my long-term goals as much mostly because I’ve internalized them by now.  It’s all about balance in every area of my life.  When one area feels out of balance, my Spidey senses go off, and I become immediately aware of it.  Consquently, I take some action.  For example, I’ve spent a lot of time traveling this year, spending time reflecting in nature, absorbing other cultures, and capturing fantastic images to share with you.

Travel had put a hold on everything else, so once I returned to Toronto, I knew I had to go full throttle into other areas of my life.  I’ve spent the past few months going full out on my businesses as well as building new ones.  In between, I’ve been pushing my body towards climbing 5.13, making new friends, and collecting some phone numbers for good measure

By the way, I’ve been posting a lot of photos from the past year on my Facebook photo page if you’d like to have a look.  It might give you an idea on where to go next!  Also, if you want to see the process of new goals materializing, sign up on the email list!

(Above) What do you not want to have happen again?

(My answer) Being victim to boss’ whims/rules.

(Above) What did you learn by going through these experiences? Why were they incredibly valuable?

(Some of my answers)

• I learned that I want to be an entrepreneur / contractor.
• I learned I’m not doing what I love.
• I learned I have choice.

To people who have just met me, it might seem that everything I have done seems to have panned out.   I wanted to work for myself, and my first few business endeavours didn’t turn out so bad.   I wanted to paint, and most of my art has had some gallery time as well as been sold.   Same with photography.  I wanted to be a good rock climber, and I’m climbing at a pretty respectable level.   I wanted to be good with women, and my dating life is respectable right now, to say the least.   I wanted to be a good snowboarder, dancer, magician, white water kayaker, adventurer,  speak multiple languages, and so and and so forth.

Have I been lucky?

Not so much.  Along each thing that works out, there are a serious number of embarrassing failures and a lot of perserverance.   I’ve just gotten comfortable with embarrassing failures.

I have a number of shelved paintings that I feel are uninspired, even though I’ve spent countless hours on them.  I’ll probably throw them out soon once I accept that they are that bad.

Many of my creative endeavors were canned.  Even look at this website, for example, you can see on the sidebanner that I had a writing gap.  Risingbean.com had virtually no readership in the first year.  And right now, I feel the first few articles I wrote were not particularly well written.

I’m more than sure many of the women I’ve approached in the past thought I was creepy, awkward, or weird.   Honestly speaking, 9 out of 10 phone numbers I collected didn’t pan out beyond flirty text messages.  Even now, many numbers don’t work out.  It’s just part of the game.

When I started learning Latin dancing, most women in the clubs wouldn’t dance with me because I wasn’t a good enough leader.  Even today, some women don’t like dancing salsa with me because my style is unconventional (it’s heavily hip hop infused).

I’ve taken huge falls rock climbing, had snowboarding tricks go wrong and land bad, desperately pulled out of my kayak and gasped for air in bitterly cold Nepali rapids, been “busted” doing my magic tricks, offended many people accidentally, and have gotten lost all over the world.

So yes, it’s not without a lot of failure and perserverance that one gets a breakthrough.

And I’m not talking about just trying out something.  I’m talking about committing to learn a skill to a proficient level or have a true experience of something.

It’s easy to try out snowboarding and give up because it’s too painful ( tip for beginners: wear wrist guards, knee pads, and a butt pad on your first three days if you want to succeed).  Similarly, it’s easy to go snowboarding once a year but never learn to carve.   It’s easy to say “Hello”, “How much?”, “Where is the toilet?” and count to 10 in a language, but having a conversation, making friends, or flirting with the opposite sex in a foreign language is a whole new ballgame.

The same goes for anything you try – my point is that you need to commit and follow through consistently to get good at it.

How do we do this?

Castenada once wrote:

“Before you embark on any path ask the question: Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path. The trouble is nobody asks the question; and when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him.”

Choose the path with heart.   Sometimes, like rock climbing, it’s new and exciting from the start.  Other times, like learning languages, it takes a while to see the results.  As long as the heart is there, once combined with grit and determination, you’ll get there while enjoying the journey.

The journey may involve some loss.  Many actors retire from high paying but monotonous TV or movie roles to pursue theatre again.   I’ve lost the approval of many people in the pursuit of my endeavours.   It’s all about the evolution of ourselves.

So get started.   Take your ego out of the picture.  Stop worrying about what other people will think.  Remove the distractions from your life.  Think abundance and opportunity.  Everyone is capable of making great achievements.

“Do or do not.  There is no try.”

- Yoda

I’m spending some time as a guest at Stanford University right now, enjoying what the university offers and learning what I feel like without any academic pressure.  It’s pretty quiet here, and it seems like everyone is studying.  For me, it’s pretty relaxed, and I’m often drawn to riding around campus on an old ’72 Peugeot road bike I picked up at the local Goodwill.

Being at Stanford and all, I’m brought to remember Steve Jobs’ commencement speech here in 2005, which I often quote from.  Here’s another secret – I put it on my iPod and I must have listened to it at least 43.5 times over the past few years.   It has definitely pumped me in the direction of charting my own path.

I like most of the speech, but I’m a particular fan of “keep looking, don’t settle” (if you haven’t found what you love) with regards to all aspects of life.  It’s nothing new, but a great reminder.  A really great reminder.  It’s also nice hearing it from someone’s actual experiences, and Steve Jobs’ professional life has been very public.

Caring means sharing, so here’s a link to an edited version of the speech I made (right click to save), free of the pre-speech and the commentator remarks – perfect for listening to over and over and over again.

Click here for the full text of his speech.

Olga Moritz of of Full Circle Healing Arts posed these interesting questions after previewing my Sunscreen Song Tribute the night before the release.   I hesitated on answering the questions immediately, thinking interviews were something more akin to celebrities, but after a number of readers asked me similar questions, I thought I’d share it with everyone.

What was your intention with regard to your first 7-minute inspirational dance/video montage (videodancescape)?

I wanted to do something really free and fun, with the side effect of showing people what’s possible.  It’s crazy how it came together.  I really liked The “Sunscreen Song” (Everybody’s Free To Wear Sunscreen), so I flirted with the idea of syncing some adventure clips to it while I was on the road last May.   The more I imagined it, the more it started to materialize.

At first, I jokingly filmed some silly scenes of myself goofing around in different landscapes.  Not long after, I found myself filming little dance scenes while thinking of the “Dance!” part of “The Sunscreen Song” while traveling.  And then, I really started filming specific scenes when I drove across the country in October.  It really came together in December when I was editing.  As I reviewed unwatched travel footage, many random scenes just popped up and inadvertently fit the song.  I have an article lined up on the power of intention in relation to that.

I also didn’t remember what the original video for the song looked like.  I didn’t watch it so that I would come up with something entirely original and based on my own experiences.   By the way, I love that word -  videodancescape.  It’s very image provoking.  It actually gives me an idea, which I’m writing down right now.

How much fun was it to be in total creative control of the piece?

Amazing.  When I look back at the freedom to work on something that has no commercial purpose, I can understand why actors leave high paying TV contracts to return to the theatre.  Prior to the video, creatively, I felt I was at a standstill.    One of the many coats I wear that few people know about is that I’m also a fine artist.  However, recently, I’ve had many unfinished and uninspired paintings and felt my creativity was at a standstill.

But with The Sunscreen Song Tribute, I felt a renewed vigor and realized I just needed a new outlet.  It was my first creative video project (I have no film-school training), but I rapidly finished all major editing in 4 days with very little sleep.  It was sheer joy.

“Do everything with your body.”  How does this statement impact mind?

The body, our senses, is a path to getting acquainted with our minds.   When I’m rock climbing, dancing, or doing yoga, I don’t think about much else.  I’m either focused on my movements or enjoying the moment.  I’ve learned that by taking that focus and awareness of one’s body to daily activities, even with something simple as washing the dishes, or my favorite, mending my clothes, it helps elevate everything one does.

I’m thinking of an entertaining quotation from Fight Club: 

“ Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessel’s life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted.”

Do you have any fears left in you?

Absolutely.  That’s the story of my life and this blog – living with uncertainty and fear.   It’s all about managing these “fake fears” and more importantly, courage.  For example, I still have plenty of moments of hesitation approaching attractive women in public.  I also know from experience that I when I miss an opportunity, I hate banging my head against the wall later thinking “what if, would have, should have” even more, so that definitely helps me act more.

I also have a fear of confrontation.  Well actually, it’s more like I have a low tolerance for conflict and drama.   For example, I remember last week I had a less-than-stellar dispute at a business I frequent.  Although I calmly cited past, objective experiences and knew I was correct, the new manager was abrupt and grew more hardened in her position as I recalled past experiences.  Rather than create unnecessary  drama, I accepted the situation, took it up with the head office the next day, and everything was promptly resolved.  In disputes or negotiations, I recommend sticking with facts and leaving out emotions as much as possible.

Name two things that would scare the pants off you?

Well, I’ve learned that mental fears are really just that, so although they may make my heart race a bit, they won’t scare the pants off of me.

However, the last time I really got spooked, I was on the final pitch of a 15-pitch climb in Mexico.  The final pitch rounded a corner to a difficult and windy sheer face with a 1500 foot drop – I was really nervous climbing that final stretch.    The view from the top anchor station is actually on The Sunscreen Song Tribute at the part where Baz Luhrmann quips “your choices are half chance…”

In light of that, what would scare the pants off of me would be doing something crazy adventurous on a sheer rock face in combination with rock climbing.  Off the top of my head, two such activities would be BASE jumping and slacklining (see below video).

What’s the most important thing in life according to you?

This one’s evolved quite a lot, and still evolving as I re-define my perspective of life.  When I was younger, I felt family values were really important.  Then, I noticed that not everyone is given a great family or even has one for that matter.  I also came to realize that although family is great to have, it is not one’s sole purpose in life.  I plan on writing more about this meaty topic later.

Then, I remember I used to feel strongly about personal values such as honesty and integrity, but the other day, I tweeted this thought:

“Don’t concern yourself with what other people should or shouldn’t be, even if you intentions are noble“.

It’s just that in this vast world, and all the people I’ve seen and met in their simple and complex life situations, I can’t really judge them because their life circumstances could be  so different from mine, even though honesty and integrity are great characteristics to have.

As for what I think is important now,  though I can’t say it’s the most important, I would say from a spiritual context, it’s centering of oneself.  For readers new to this concept, it roughly means not occupying your mind with stress, worry, anxiety, resentment, and other negative states.  This topic can get pretty involved, but if it piques your interest, I highly recommend reading Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power Of Now.

On the same topic of change, another reader recently asked me about my purpose for traveling.   That’s evolved too – I used to travel to see a lot of places and open up my mind, then I changed it to having serious adventures abroad because I was tired of just looking at places.  Now,  I mostly want to live and experience different cultures at a slow pace.

Talk about your upcoming projects.

While filming The Sunscreen Song Tribute, I actually concurrently filmed videos for more inspirational videos I plan on slowly releasing in the future.  I also have to get more footage on the road while I continue piecing together my creative vision for these projects.  I’m hitting the road tomorrow actually.

In addition, I’ve filmed the required footage for many of my upcoming dance DVD’s, but I’m a real perfectionist, so I often find myself re-shooting scenes and going out to clubs to get more stock footage while creating my Club Dance Style.  It’s pretty hard getting dance footage in night clubs, but it’s important as it really shows that I walk my talk (or rather, dance it).  Night clubs don’t like video cameras, but these days, video cameras are so small and versatile that soon a phone will suffice!

Other than that, I’m seriously spending a lot of time editing these days, even though I may be abroad.  To keep editing from completely draining me, I plan on interspersing creative, inspirational videos with DVD releases.  Stay tuned!