In my last post, I wrote about my experiences with homelessness.  Looking back, I’ve slept in so many different places that often times, I wake up confused about my surroundings.  At other times, I wake up with a smile as I rediscover where I am.  Today, I’m stepping back to take a lighter look back at some of the more interesting places I’ve spent a few nights in during the past year.   Enjoy!

The Hello Kitty Room

I could have chosen another room, but for the sheer amusement factor, there was no way I was going to miss this one.  I also had a chance to get in touch with my feminine side – double bonus!

The Musician’s Pad

I rented this beautiful place from a couple who took off to visit family in Argentina.  Some of the food in the fridge was incredibly old (close to a decade past the expiry date!), but it was really fun cleaning it up.  The mad scientist in me ignited as I discovered a bottle of decomposing anchovies nestled amongst other jars of food so old, that whatever once grew in there, died long ago.  As I mixed the organic goop in the compost, I seriously hoped something would come alive or at least fizz.

Fridge contents aside, the musician’s pad had some serious soul.  It came complete with a large, vinyl eclectic music collection, to which I danced interpretatively to every morning.   Further entertainment came in the form of free instruments to practice on.   To top it off, the owners were really warm, friendly people, and I believe their home was filled with the same energy.

The Artist’s Loft

This was my by far my favorite place I’ve stayed in the past year.  I sublet an old loft in an artists’ building.  And it was really old.  So much so, that from the outside, the building looked like it had been abandoned for a decade.  The building interior was aging, unfinished wood, which created a smell reminiscent of my childhood music conservatory.  There was almost never hot water.  I had no stove – only an electric plate (I went mostly raw vegan for the month).  I would trip a circuit breaker if I used the hot plate simultaneously with any other appliance, so I resorted to my camping stove frequently.  The building was right beside railroad tracks (watch out when using the emergency exit!).  The floors creaked.  The stairwell had the permanent smell of stale marijuana…

Of course, none of this mattered, and it actually only added to the appeal and enamour of the loft.  I really loved the space – it was beautiful, warm, and serene.   It was an extremely creative space, and I was able to accomplish some great work here.  To top it off, silk acrobatic curtains hung from the ceiling, allowing me to pick up a few tricks.  This place definitely suited me, and I would live here again should I ever settle.

Photos on Facebook.

Suk 11 Hostel

While backpacking through parts of Southeast Asia, I didn’t have any particularly memorable accommodations other than Suk 11 in Bangkok, Thailand.  The dimly lit, wood hallways were furnished in such a way that it felt like I was walking through a narrow alleyway in a Vietnamese village.  The narrow boardwalk leading through the hallways hovered over mirrored glass and pebbles, giving the illusion of walking over shallow water.  The rooms were nothing much to write about, but everything else made up for it.  You really have to be there to really experience it.  Conveniently enough, Suk 11 is also a short walk away from a popular nightclub, the Bed Supper Club, which actually is a bed-themed restaurant by day.  Needless to say, I squeezed in a lot of dance practices there.

The Hotbox

This was probably the worst place I took up residency in over the past year.   I had no place to stay, and it was winter, so I quickly settled with the first place I could find.  At first glance, the house was a quaint Victorian near a beach with an amazing German shepherd to accompany me.   Unfortunately, my housemates were all chain smokers who smoked in the house.  Fortunately, however, I had my trusty minus 10 degree sleeping bag, and so every night, I would sleep with the windows opened.  When I think back, I might as well have gone winter camping instead!

The Mint Condition House Of Horrors

This house looked very appealing on craigslist and at the doorstep.  It was a sizeable mansion, and I was renting a large room in it.  As I approached the house, the owners came to greet me, and whisked me away to the rear entrance.  As I passed an outdoor garden full of fake, plastic perennials, my suspicions slowly became aroused.  Once I entered the house, I realized what was up.  The interior was really sterile.  I mean more-than-a-hospital sterile.

The IKEA lamp in my room was still in it’s packaging – yes, complete with the instructions tightly wrapped around the light shade.  More plastic flower arrangements peppered the house interior – I’m guessing real flowers were deemed too dirty for the immaculate floors.  The not-so-new fridge still had all its original protective plastic sheets on it, interior components included.   Everything was protected.  Every item on the kitchen countertop, cups included, had a coaster under it.   And, most evidently, all hallways and stairways had layers of towels protecting the floor from any scratching.

I didn’t stay here long.  It was a bit eerie.  I either felt like I was being watched or that I couldn’t touch anything.  When I met the other temporary tenants, I could tell that they also sensed the same horror – the idea that we all might be lambs waiting to be slaughtered.  Sigh.  It was such a far cry off from The Artist’s Loft.

Think I’m over-exaggerating?  I’ve put up more pictures of this surreal house at the bottom of the post.  Click here to go to the post if you’re reading this post from an email.

Rags to Riches

From a murky basement to an upscale two-story penthouse condo, I wrote about these places in a post here.

World’s Smallest Room

I wrote about this room briefly in another post.  Hong Kong is well known for its super-expensive real estate.  After a last-minute dance opportunity materialized,  I was forced to quickly find accommodations in one of the densest buildings in the city.   Needless to say, the room was tiny.  It fit a twin a bed with a narrow space to shuffle to the washroom.  It kind of reminded me of my brother’s closet, where I actually spent a few nights in during a time of transition.  The redeeming factor was that I was forced to go out every day.  See the bottom of the post for a photo!

Side of The Road, ON The Road

I’ve had to pull a couple of nights in my car on a few occasions where I couldn’t find a campsite or it was too late to set up camp.  Truth be told, I’ve never really gotten used to it.   Since my seats don’t recline flat, I often sleep in uncomfortable positions that result in a stiff neck the next morning.  So, the few times where it was possible, I preferred pulling out my Thermarest mattress and sleeping bag and settling on the road, off to the side of the car.    The road is firm and flat.  My sleeping bag is warm.  Conclusion: the sleep is better on the road.

Two years ago, when I first went temporarily homeless willingly, it was a bittersweet pill to swallow.  I had quietly left Toronto with little support, and actually, to a bit of criticism.  As I tucked my -10 degree sleeping bag over myself in preparation for a cold night in my car, somewhere along the interstate between Wisconsin and South Dakota, I confess I felt a little alone with a tinge of self-pity over my life situation.

I wasn’t used to not knowing where I would be the next day or week.  I wasn’t used to not having a familiar place to return to.  I wasn’t used to the uncertainty.   I wasn’t sure how long I could pull of such a lifestyle or if I had made the right choice.  I wasn’t used to being in the full driver seat of my life and having so much control over my time and location.

So there I was, watching the snow fall on my car, lost in a moment of doubt, wondering if the next days, weeks, and months would lead to something fruitful…

…

Fortunately, it was a short-lived moment because I remembered, this is what I wanted.

I wanted to pick up and leave off, not weighed down by a long rent lease or mortgage payments.

I wanted to live somewhere else in the world.

I wanted to know what life was like for other people, outside my familiar surroundings.

I wanted the freedom to go wherever, whenever, I pleased.

That was my first taste of that life.  And I loved it.  It wasn’t long ago, but thinking of sleeping by myself in that cold car and cooking breakfast at a Walmart picnic table the next morning sounds beautifully nostalgic now.  It was the start of discovering some purpose in my life, and that I was moving towards that unknown purpose.

Since then, if you’ve followed me on Twitter or Facebook, you’ve probably seen that I’ve moved around quite a bit, often finding a place to stay, but sometimes not.  Every time I cross a border and fill in the entry card, I’m not sure what to write when I reach the “Address of Accommodations” box.  I’ve been homeless at times on two continents since that first night in my car and must have slept in over 50 different places in the past year.  Let me set something straight though.  I’m not glamourizing being homeless because I know it’s not always great for those who haven’t chosen it.  Being homeless may sound bad to most, but in my case, it’s not.  It’s like a side salad that comes with my choices, and I accept it graciously.

Many posts ago, I turned a few heads when I wrote that if you want something, you have to want it really badly, almost like it’s a life-threatening situation.  Really think about that again.  If there’s something you want, what are you willing to do for it?  What comforts and routines are you willing to give up?

I see this situation all the time now.  I see someone who wants something really bad, gets a momentary adrenaline pump, and genuinely seems to want to go for it.  And then, reality, other people’s reality, kicks them in the butt.  “Reality” people bombard the dreamers with their “expertise”, tell them the flaws with their plan, or raise doubt in the dreamer’s mind:  It’s already been done.  What are you going to do when you come back?  How are you going to survive? No one’s done that before.  (To me, the last statement sounds like opportunity!)

Alas, as soon as the dream has come, it just as quickly disappears.  The rookie dreamer realizes he/she can’t give up their security, lifestyle, or even creature comforts to pursue a dream.  They sink back into their routines.  The dream becomes taboo to talk about – regret brushed under the carpet.  I don’t blame them.  Once you get stuck in a certain familiar lifestyle and routine, it’s hard to enact change.

Perhaps it’s not natural to experience so much upheaval and uncertainty.  For many people, even a mild disruption to their daily patterns – a subway delay, bad coffee, daylight savings time (the lose-an-hour spring one) – warrants a mild panic attack or generates enough cause for a rant.  Maybe unpredictability shortens your life, but I’d choose a short, well-lived life over a long, mediocre one in a heartbeat.

Look, you don’t have to liquidate your house and assets and leave like I did to pursue a dream or to live on purpose.  But what about eliminating some excess in your life?  How about trimming some of that fat, like the time wasted accumulating things or trying to please everyone in your life?  What about negotiating more free time for yourself?  What about giving up a few hours of sleep or TV each night to work on something important?  What about seriously breaking your old programming, your old routines, and your definition of reality?

The late Steve Jobs said, “Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice.”   Digest what Steve said for a moment.  Then turn the switch on.

Now,

…

… define your reality.

…

…

Next,

…

… believe in it!

At the request of some of my readers, I’ve put together my ultralight backpacking (with style!) list.  Click here to see the full list.  I’ve put some time into it, and it’s pretty detailed, so take your time going through it.  I plan on updating it continuously, and hopefully, pruning items off the list!

There is no delight in owning anything unshared. – Seneca

Welcome to Hong Kong.  Population: 7 million.  Welcome to Yangon.  Estimated population: 6 million.  Welcome to Tokyo.  Population: hovering around 13 million.  Welcome to Bangkok.  Population: 12 million and rising.

In the past few months, I’ve travelled through Asia, making pits stops in some of Asia’s most populated cities.  I’ve played Frogger crossing Bangkok’s chaotic streets in thick hazes of automotive exhaust.  I’ve crammed myself immobile into a Tokyo rush hour train.  I’ve disappeared into the confusing, dusty streets of Yangon while trying not to disappear altogether into the fathoms of the gaping sidewalk potholes.

It all started on an impromptu extended stay in Hong Kong, where population density felt the greatest with its glittering sea of skyscrapers.  Being in crowded cities is not new to me, but this time around, I found myself in a situation observing people and culture more.  To start, I had checked into a windowless, roughly 4-metre squared room in the infamous Chungking Mansion building, where an estimated 4,000 people live.  It was a mind-numbingly sterile, white cell requiring me to squeeze by my bed and hop over my backpack just to get to the bathroom, where the toilet and shower are conveniently one unit.  Not particularly comfortable in such tight quarters, I took to the streets, only to find myself shuffling shoulder-to-shoulder with strangers on the busy sidewalks.  There seemed to be no escape.

What could I do?  Smile, observe, and continue to do so for the remainder of my trip.

Maybe you’ve never been to a big Asian city before, but I’m sure you’ve experienced crowds of people in other parts of the world, whether it be New York, London, or Sao Paulo.  Or perhaps while leaving a popular concert en masse.  Being stuck in a nightmare traffic jam.  Waiting at the Driver’s License office on a Friday afternoon.  Yesterday, I was at the Toronto CNE, Canada’s largest fair.  During a rainstorm, like everyone else, I ducked into the Food Building and soon found myself squeezing into a long table eating lunch amongst a table of strangers.  And then I heard someone exclaim something I’m sure all of us had said at one point in our lives:

Why are there so many people?!?

Back in North America, where I often live, we have plenty of  space which has been abused to abandon.  In fact, this month’s issue of Toronto Life magazine is entitled “Exodus To The Burbs: The Houses Are Bigger.  The People Are Nicer.  The Commute Doesn’t Suck. “, though to be fair, the author actually moved to a smaller town, not a sprawling Toronto suburb.  However, if I had to define culture-shock, it wasn’t showing up in the packed streets of Hong Kong.  It was visiting an enormous suburban Walmart on my first day back in Canada while visiting my mother.   It was such a stark contrast from where I had came from.  I wandered the gaping aisles observing the space in awe, thinking of the golf-course sized parking lot outside, the huge bulk items that were meant to be stored in the huge homes nearby … and yet outside, the 6-lane roads were gradually jamming up with cars as rush hour approached.

It’s a crowded world.  The fact is, none of us chose to be here.  But we’re all here together.  Realistically, none of us have a right to more space than others, so it’s best if we remember how to share.  Here’s some pointers on how to make the most of it:

1. Share space.  I remember meeting up with one of my dance instructors, Lydia, in a particularly busy Hong Kong cafe.  We spotted two vacant seats at a table only occupied by a couple.  We sat down in the seats and the couple made a little extra room for us.  When they vacated, another duo came and instantly replaced them.  When Lydia and I left, our seats were filled again.  Sitting by yourself?  It’s the norm to share a table there.   In Tokyo, the culture is somewhat different, so tables are not shared.  However, during busy times, you eat your meals quickly to make room for the other customers or park yourself into a ramen (noodle) stall with other single diners.  Consequently, recognize that you don’t own a public space, even if you arrived somewhere first.  Someone arrives late to a movie and sits in the seat in front of you?  That’s what the seat was designed for!

2. Wait with patience.  Lineups are common in Asia.  As I’ve mentioned before, lineups in Japan are nicely formed long lines with space in between people.  In Malaysia, lineups sometimes form in tight, precarious zig-zag patterns, with the potential of someone cutting in front of you!  Line cutting aside, you more or less have to wait the same amount of time in both lines.  The bottom line is that waiting is common in Asia when there are so many people, and the locals accept that.  When I first arrived in Toronto, I remember there was a very minor backup boarding a bus as a man struggled to carry his luggage on.  I took notice that everyone behind him was rubbernecking impatiently on the holdup.  Perhaps our patience here is shorter so we don’t experience waiting quite as often.  Take notice of your waiting tolerance.  Then extend it as best as you can.

3. Accept and avoid complaining.  It’s easy to dislike cities like Yangon because it first appears as a dirty, crowded city.  The citizens there know that their city isn’t the best in terms of appearance, but they still make the best out of it.  Maybe your city is cleaner, but you simply have the fortune of better infrastructure, allowing the population impact to be hidden better.  When you leave the city in bumper-to-bumper traffic for the summer long weekend,  there’s not much you can do when your camping destination is packed to the brim with other people doing the same thing.  It’s going to be noisy – that’s just what happens when there’s lots of people.  Notice that they simply want the same thing you want.  You’re in the same boat.  Enjoy what you can or schedule your life outside other people’s hours.

4. Observe.  Once you’re able to accept, then maybe you can step it up with some observation.  Take something back with you.  Appreciate the differences of a crowded area.  See how people make the most of it and try it out yourself.  Learn something new.

5. Conserve space.  In Europe, it’s pretty much the norm to live in IKEA-esque optimized small spaces and drive small fuel-efficient cars.  It’s a shame that renting a small apartment or driving a subcompact vehicle here in North America will get you ridiculed for either 1) it’s lack of statement or 2) the suggestion that you are financially tight.  Don’t concern yourself with what other people think.  Even if you can afford a lot of space, be conscious of what you need as opposed to what you want or can afford.  Try to bring your wants closer to your needs.  Less is more.  Trust me.

6. Use the temple of your mind.  Eckhart Tolle wrote in The Power Of Now that the one of the very few good things about money is that it can buy space.   At the same time, he also mentioned that if you can’t afford space, as Mr. Tolle himself was once homeless, you always have the temple of your mind to enjoy your space.  Meditate, stay present, and be focused.

7. Practice kindness.  Many people find big cities unfriendly, but I still see acts of kindness all the time.  Hong Kong is crowded, but people will give up their seats for the elderly.  Give up your seat, hold a door open, thank the bus driver, and say “hello!” to strangers more.  If you live in a big city and perhaps have gradually become an unfriendly walking zombie, take this time to notice your defensiveness and now work on lightening up the people around you.  You have the choice not to join the legions of the grumpy.

8. Make small talk.  Within a week’s time, I made the transition from busy Tokyo to small town Nova Scotia, where people seem to have a knack for small talk.  Try bringing the small talk into the city.  Believe it or not, small talk can turn into big conversations as you practice talking to strangers more.  And here’s a tip for single guys:  That’s pretty much how you meet women you’re attracted to in daytime situations.  Don’t worry if you don’t fare so well – the likelihood you’ll run into her again in a big city is slim to none, so give it a shot!

I don’t get to live by different rules. The same boundaries that apply to everyone apply to me. – Tiger Woods

The past year has been a crazy journey. Hectic at times, but I’ve enjoyed it all the way. Again, I’m extremely grateful to be out there dancing, working hard, and making inspirational videos for you to watch. Thank you so much for your support!

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One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.

-Henry MillerWhat is it about travel that causes one to gain insight and see the world from a different perspective?  And, especially upon coming back, to cherish the experience even more all the while seeing day-to-day living much differently?

As an adventure traveler, I didn’t expect myself visiting Japan anytime soon because I considered it expensive and a super-safe tourist destination – I was saving Japan for retirement.  Nonetheless, the winds of change took me there on short notice, so  I decided to try living there to see what I could discover.  I was pleasantly surprised to encounter some hurdles and get a total culture shock.

All too often, when we travel, we tend or impose our values on another culture or see a place through our eyes.   This really limits our experience.  By exercising some humility, we can gain so much more from traveling.  At first glance from a Western point of view, one might say that in Japan, people work too hard, are too polite, and are backwards or closed-off because so few Japanese speak English.  To find out more, I skipped the tourist hot-spots, bought a used bike to coast around town in, armed myself with a functional level of Japanese, and did my best to integrate myself into day-to-day life to see what I could learn.

Here are some things I picked up.

Healthy Habits

Firstly, barring sumo wrestlers, obesity and being overweight is not much of a problem in Japan.  The portions are smaller there, NOT because the people are smaller – contrary to popular belief, Japanese people are not minuscule.  I felt pretty normal there, though I’m not a giant either.

Small portions combined with good dietary habits mean that Japanese people don’t eat themselves into a coma.  Instead, Japanese people tend to eat to a comfortable level – around  80% fullness, which is a fantastic habit.

Of course, times are changing as Western and Western-inspired fast food chains are popping up all over Japan.  Check out the 3-hour lineup to get into the newly opened Krispy Kreme in Osaka – It continues in a longer, separate line a block away from where you are escorted to the main lineup!

So yes, fast food is there, but it’s still not as common to be eating it as much as we do here.  Moreover, typical fast food is generally healthier such as bowl of ramen or udon noodles, or convenience store onigiri (stuffed rice wrapped in seaweed) or microwaveable bento box.

Western or Eastern, I would also add to eat slowly.   Because of a strong work culture in Japan, people do eat as fast, if not faster, than Westerners.  I see people tuck in and out of ramen shacks during the busy half hour lunch break like a quick change magic act.   So, I would add that if you do have time, eat slowly.  I used to be a fast eater.  Once I recognized the bad habit,  I began to count the number of times I would chew before swallowing (around 30), and it rather quickly developed a slower eating habit (and I didn’t have to count anymore either!).  Yes, sometimes my food gets cold or my friend finish their meals eons before me, but it doesn’t really bother me.  I enjoy my food cold and fill any “eating gaps” with my friends by conversation.

If you eat slowly, you will kill two bird with one stone – you will develop a good eating habit and you will feel full faster.  Biologically speaking, when we eat too fast, the hormones that cause us to feel full are released less and thus leads to  overeating.  More importantly, by eating slower we avoid the dreaded food-induced coma (or what some of us humorously call itis – watch Dave Chappelle to learn more) This is really important so you can stay productive after a meal!

Aside from food, Japanese people are much fitter.  Going to the gym isn’t as common there, but there’s no need to.  Walking, public transportation, and biking are the primary forms of getting around.  I was at a water playpark yesterday with my son and really took notice of the excess amount of love handles around.  It’s astonishing how much an impact living suburban living and car-dependency can cause on your physical health.

In Japan, the car is not king.  Many low-rise apartments are built without garages.   And believe it or not, I saw firsthand that you can bike until you’re 80 (or past that!).

The beauty of such good diets and fitness is that Japanese people aren’t trying to be healthy – it’s just ingrained into day-to-day life resulting in some of the longest life expectancy  in the world.  More importantly, being in good health results in a quality long life, not one confined by vehicles, drugs, electric wheelchairs, and other health-related worries.  If you don’t have the luxury of “cultural fitness”, then either consider an urban or semi-urban living environment or start building healthy habits.

Incredible Politeness

Beyond food and fitness, what I learned most from Japan was observing the incredibly polite culture.  In fact, it seems like Japan is the only polite culture left, though to be fair, there are several very friendly cultures remaining in the world.  Prior to going to Japan, I was wondering why it seemed like for every phrase I learned, there seemed to be 3 or 4 ways to say it, each in more polite iterations.  (e.g. “Thank You” – arigatou, arigatou gozaimasu, domo arigatou gozaimasu).

While learning the ropes and rules of biking around crowded, chaotic city streets, as well as “No Biking/Bike Parking” signs everyone ignored, I was never given a hard time by anyone.  I’m sure I cut off many drivers, went the wrong way, rode too slow sometimes, rode too close to pedestrians, and pedaled through an outdoor pedestrian mall when I wasn’t supposed to.  Yet I was never got honked at.  I never got stared down.  I was never cursed at.  Never given a hard time.  And this wasn’t because I looked like a lost foreigner.  Upon arriving, I picked up some clothes that looked more “Osaka”, put away my sunglasses because locals consider it narcissistic, and tried my best to blend in.

And, a polite culture naturally accompanies an honest one.  By pure clumsiness, I happened to leave both my phone and camera one morning on an express train.  I wasn’t sure how I could recover it because there were so many trains running in Japan.  Yet, somehow I knew that there was a very good chance that I would get my lost articles back and I was right.  Twenty minutes later after discovering my loss, I’m at the Central Station recovering them.

Fast forward 3 weeks later on a bus in San Francisco.  I leave my bag open and somehow “lose” my phone.  Later in the evening, I call up my number, and the “finder” requests a reward.  The finder actually turned out to be an interesting bunch of homeless vagabonds and I shrugged off the whole experience all the while smiling and humming Modest Mouse’s catchy song Float On in my head:  Well, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with that scam.  It was worth it just to learn some sleight-of-hand.

Unrelated Fun Points

Some other  interesting tidbits from Japan:

Slurping is not rude.  It’s the common way to eat your noodles, and they taste better when slurped.

Japanese drive on the left side of the road. Not the wrong side of the road

I also wondered why the most common umbrella was made of transparent plastic.  Then it rained, I bought one, and rode my bike using the umbrella like a window.

The Abtronic is still legally sold here.

Japan is not as expensive as one might think.  Sure, there are¥15750 ($150) gift cherries, ¥10500 ($100) gift melons, and other expensive gift fruit you can buy in department stores, but regular supermarket fruit costs more or less the same as North America.  Sushi is much cheaper in the supermarkets.  There’s also this nice chain I frequented, Lawson 100.  It’s a dollar food store with good quality and fresh food!

However, vintage is expensive.  You might want to take your old clothes with you to Japan and make some money.  I spotted the above pair of refashioned vintage Levi 501′s sell at the Daimaru department store for over $730.

Finally, learning Japanese is really useful because English is almost non-existent there.  A little Japanese can help a lot in terms of making friends and getting off the beaten path.  Your stomach will also thank you when you check into an izakaya restaurant.  This is not to say that Japanese don’t like English.  On the contrary, it’s all over the place in a comical “Engrish” form!  So until next time, I sign off with:  Please be released from everyday life and enjoy yourself free. May the fortunate goddess smile at you!

To people who have just met me, it might seem that everything I have done seems to have panned out.   I wanted to work for myself, and my first few business endeavours didn’t turn out so bad.   I wanted to paint, and most of my art has had some gallery time as well as been sold.   Same with photography.  I wanted to be a good rock climber, and I’m climbing at a pretty respectable level.   I wanted to be good with women, and my dating life is respectable right now, to say the least.   I wanted to be a good snowboarder, dancer, magician, white water kayaker, adventurer,  speak multiple languages, and so and and so forth.

Have I been lucky?

Not so much.  Along each thing that works out, there are a serious number of embarrassing failures and a lot of perserverance.   I’ve just gotten comfortable with embarrassing failures.

I have a number of shelved paintings that I feel are uninspired, even though I’ve spent countless hours on them.  I’ll probably throw them out soon once I accept that they are that bad.

Many of my creative endeavors were canned.  Even look at this website, for example, you can see on the sidebanner that I had a writing gap.  Risingbean.com had virtually no readership in the first year.  And right now, I feel the first few articles I wrote were not particularly well written.

I’m more than sure many of the women I’ve approached in the past thought I was creepy, awkward, or weird.   Honestly speaking, 9 out of 10 phone numbers I collected didn’t pan out beyond flirty text messages.  Even now, many numbers don’t work out.  It’s just part of the game.

When I started learning Latin dancing, most women in the clubs wouldn’t dance with me because I wasn’t a good enough leader.  Even today, some women don’t like dancing salsa with me because my style is unconventional (it’s heavily hip hop infused).

I’ve taken huge falls rock climbing, had snowboarding tricks go wrong and land bad, desperately pulled out of my kayak and gasped for air in bitterly cold Nepali rapids, been “busted” doing my magic tricks, offended many people accidentally, and have gotten lost all over the world.

So yes, it’s not without a lot of failure and perserverance that one gets a breakthrough.

And I’m not talking about just trying out something.  I’m talking about committing to learn a skill to a proficient level or have a true experience of something.

It’s easy to try out snowboarding and give up because it’s too painful ( tip for beginners: wear wrist guards, knee pads, and a butt pad on your first three days if you want to succeed).  Similarly, it’s easy to go snowboarding once a year but never learn to carve.   It’s easy to say “Hello”, “How much?”, “Where is the toilet?” and count to 10 in a language, but having a conversation, making friends, or flirting with the opposite sex in a foreign language is a whole new ballgame.

The same goes for anything you try – my point is that you need to commit and follow through consistently to get good at it.

How do we do this?

Castenada once wrote:

“Before you embark on any path ask the question: Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path. The trouble is nobody asks the question; and when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him.”

Choose the path with heart.   Sometimes, like rock climbing, it’s new and exciting from the start.  Other times, like learning languages, it takes a while to see the results.  As long as the heart is there, once combined with grit and determination, you’ll get there while enjoying the journey.

The journey may involve some loss.  Many actors retire from high paying but monotonous TV or movie roles to pursue theatre again.   I’ve lost the approval of many people in the pursuit of my endeavours.   It’s all about the evolution of ourselves.

So get started.   Take your ego out of the picture.  Stop worrying about what other people will think.  Remove the distractions from your life.  Think abundance and opportunity.  Everyone is capable of making great achievements.

“Do or do not.  There is no try.”

- Yoda

I’m spending some time as a guest at Stanford University right now, enjoying what the university offers and learning what I feel like without any academic pressure.  It’s pretty quiet here, and it seems like everyone is studying.  For me, it’s pretty relaxed, and I’m often drawn to riding around campus on an old ’72 Peugeot road bike I picked up at the local Goodwill.

Being at Stanford and all, I’m brought to remember Steve Jobs’ commencement speech here in 2005, which I often quote from.  Here’s another secret – I put it on my iPod and I must have listened to it at least 43.5 times over the past few years.   It has definitely pumped me in the direction of charting my own path.

I like most of the speech, but I’m a particular fan of “keep looking, don’t settle” (if you haven’t found what you love) with regards to all aspects of life.  It’s nothing new, but a great reminder.  A really great reminder.  It’s also nice hearing it from someone’s actual experiences, and Steve Jobs’ professional life has been very public.

Caring means sharing, so here’s a link to an edited version of the speech I made (right click to save), free of the pre-speech and the commentator remarks – perfect for listening to over and over and over again.

Click here for the full text of his speech.

Olga Moritz of of Full Circle Healing Arts posed these interesting questions after previewing my Sunscreen Song Tribute the night before the release.   I hesitated on answering the questions immediately, thinking interviews were something more akin to celebrities, but after a number of readers asked me similar questions, I thought I’d share it with everyone.

What was your intention with regard to your first 7-minute inspirational dance/video montage (videodancescape)?

I wanted to do something really free and fun, with the side effect of showing people what’s possible.  It’s crazy how it came together.  I really liked The “Sunscreen Song” (Everybody’s Free To Wear Sunscreen), so I flirted with the idea of syncing some adventure clips to it while I was on the road last May.   The more I imagined it, the more it started to materialize.

At first, I jokingly filmed some silly scenes of myself goofing around in different landscapes.  Not long after, I found myself filming little dance scenes while thinking of the “Dance!” part of “The Sunscreen Song” while traveling.  And then, I really started filming specific scenes when I drove across the country in October.  It really came together in December when I was editing.  As I reviewed unwatched travel footage, many random scenes just popped up and inadvertently fit the song.  I have an article lined up on the power of intention in relation to that.

I also didn’t remember what the original video for the song looked like.  I didn’t watch it so that I would come up with something entirely original and based on my own experiences.   By the way, I love that word -  videodancescape.  It’s very image provoking.  It actually gives me an idea, which I’m writing down right now.

How much fun was it to be in total creative control of the piece?

Amazing.  When I look back at the freedom to work on something that has no commercial purpose, I can understand why actors leave high paying TV contracts to return to the theatre.  Prior to the video, creatively, I felt I was at a standstill.    One of the many coats I wear that few people know about is that I’m also a fine artist.  However, recently, I’ve had many unfinished and uninspired paintings and felt my creativity was at a standstill.

But with The Sunscreen Song Tribute, I felt a renewed vigor and realized I just needed a new outlet.  It was my first creative video project (I have no film-school training), but I rapidly finished all major editing in 4 days with very little sleep.  It was sheer joy.

“Do everything with your body.”  How does this statement impact mind?

The body, our senses, is a path to getting acquainted with our minds.   When I’m rock climbing, dancing, or doing yoga, I don’t think about much else.  I’m either focused on my movements or enjoying the moment.  I’ve learned that by taking that focus and awareness of one’s body to daily activities, even with something simple as washing the dishes, or my favorite, mending my clothes, it helps elevate everything one does.

I’m thinking of an entertaining quotation from Fight Club: 

“ Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessel’s life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted.”

Do you have any fears left in you?

Absolutely.  That’s the story of my life and this blog – living with uncertainty and fear.   It’s all about managing these “fake fears” and more importantly, courage.  For example, I still have plenty of moments of hesitation approaching attractive women in public.  I also know from experience that I when I miss an opportunity, I hate banging my head against the wall later thinking “what if, would have, should have” even more, so that definitely helps me act more.

I also have a fear of confrontation.  Well actually, it’s more like I have a low tolerance for conflict and drama.   For example, I remember last week I had a less-than-stellar dispute at a business I frequent.  Although I calmly cited past, objective experiences and knew I was correct, the new manager was abrupt and grew more hardened in her position as I recalled past experiences.  Rather than create unnecessary  drama, I accepted the situation, took it up with the head office the next day, and everything was promptly resolved.  In disputes or negotiations, I recommend sticking with facts and leaving out emotions as much as possible.

Name two things that would scare the pants off you?

Well, I’ve learned that mental fears are really just that, so although they may make my heart race a bit, they won’t scare the pants off of me.

However, the last time I really got spooked, I was on the final pitch of a 15-pitch climb in Mexico.  The final pitch rounded a corner to a difficult and windy sheer face with a 1500 foot drop – I was really nervous climbing that final stretch.    The view from the top anchor station is actually on The Sunscreen Song Tribute at the part where Baz Luhrmann quips “your choices are half chance…”

In light of that, what would scare the pants off of me would be doing something crazy adventurous on a sheer rock face in combination with rock climbing.  Off the top of my head, two such activities would be BASE jumping and slacklining (see below video).

What’s the most important thing in life according to you?

This one’s evolved quite a lot, and still evolving as I re-define my perspective of life.  When I was younger, I felt family values were really important.  Then, I noticed that not everyone is given a great family or even has one for that matter.  I also came to realize that although family is great to have, it is not one’s sole purpose in life.  I plan on writing more about this meaty topic later.

Then, I remember I used to feel strongly about personal values such as honesty and integrity, but the other day, I tweeted this thought:

“Don’t concern yourself with what other people should or shouldn’t be, even if you intentions are noble“.

It’s just that in this vast world, and all the people I’ve seen and met in their simple and complex life situations, I can’t really judge them because their life circumstances could be  so different from mine, even though honesty and integrity are great characteristics to have.

As for what I think is important now,  though I can’t say it’s the most important, I would say from a spiritual context, it’s centering of oneself.  For readers new to this concept, it roughly means not occupying your mind with stress, worry, anxiety, resentment, and other negative states.  This topic can get pretty involved, but if it piques your interest, I highly recommend reading Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power Of Now.

On the same topic of change, another reader recently asked me about my purpose for traveling.   That’s evolved too – I used to travel to see a lot of places and open up my mind, then I changed it to having serious adventures abroad because I was tired of just looking at places.  Now,  I mostly want to live and experience different cultures at a slow pace.

Talk about your upcoming projects.

While filming The Sunscreen Song Tribute, I actually concurrently filmed videos for more inspirational videos I plan on slowly releasing in the future.  I also have to get more footage on the road while I continue piecing together my creative vision for these projects.  I’m hitting the road tomorrow actually.

In addition, I’ve filmed the required footage for many of my upcoming dance DVD’s, but I’m a real perfectionist, so I often find myself re-shooting scenes and going out to clubs to get more stock footage while creating my Club Dance Style.  It’s pretty hard getting dance footage in night clubs, but it’s important as it really shows that I walk my talk (or rather, dance it).  Night clubs don’t like video cameras, but these days, video cameras are so small and versatile that soon a phone will suffice!

Other than that, I’m seriously spending a lot of time editing these days, even though I may be abroad.  To keep editing from completely draining me, I plan on interspersing creative, inspirational videos with DVD releases.  Stay tuned!

Mary Schmich penned the article  “Advice, Like Youth, Probably Just Wasted on the Young” many years ago to which my Sunscreen Song Tribute is derived from.

Following the release of my video on Timothy Ferriss’ blog, a lot of people asked me for some life advice.  The truth is, just like Tim wrote about himself in his book, I’m not dirty rich nor do I wish to be.   I’m actually still on the path and don’t believe I’ve made it … yet(*).

I drive a 12-year old Honda Civic which I mostly maintain myself.  My sister-in-law gives me homecuts (albeit very good homecuts).  I’ve never owned a dishwasher, though I fantasize once in a while about having one in the distant future.  Instead of dinner and a movie dates, I choose “cost-efficient” dates such as going to public markets, having impromptu picnics, and surfing vintage thrift stores.

However, I will readily admit that I have planted the seed, and I am on a very good path.

Like one of the other featured people in Tim’s post, soultraveler3, who travels  around the world with her family on 25,000 dollars a year while her daughter plays the violin at each hop, I just don’t want to die with my song still in me.

I also feel that it’s pretty easy for people to write about their successes after they’ve made it, so I think it would be an interesting change for people to be reading from someone who’s only on the path to “making it”.

I’ve pretty much lived my life in reverse.  As a young, single dad many years ago, I was unwillingly forced to grow up very fast until it I couldn’t handle it any longer.  Then, a miraculous thing happened – I looked within myself and realized I was creating my unhappiness.  I realized I was the source of frustration -  and in short,  that was the start of how I became younger as I grew older.

Hopefully, I haven’t let good advice be wasted in my youth, so here is my advice for those who dare to aspire, for those who want to get younger as they grow older, from my youth to everyone of all ages:

Don’t worry about what other people think of you.  It’s mostly in your head.  You will be criticized and mocked (often by the ones closest to you) when you go out on a limb, but that is where all the fruit is.

Follow your intuition.  Men, this is particularly relevant to you since we tend to look at things too objectively.

Be okay with failure and rejection.

Be okay with losing friends who don’t support your new direction.  You will attract the right people into your life if you stay focused and on track.

Recognize the small successes for what they are – a seed planted for something bigger.

Stop judging others or yourself.  Give other people the benefit of the doubt.  In current terms, don’t be a hater.

Do one thing every day that scares you.  Mary Schmich wrote this in her article.  Lululemon reusable shopping bags have this written clearly on them.  I wrote about my experiences trying this concept out too.

Keep your mind active and always be learning something.  Be a lifelong student.  Be nice to beginners  (newbies, noobs), because if you make the lifelong learning habit, you will always be a “noob” at something.  More importantly, be humble.

Don’t concern yourself with being right (and making others wrong).  More often than not, it’s better just to be happy.

See your problems as either challenges or preferably opportunities.  I will admit that this is harder than it sounds yet it is so important.  Looking back on my life, I wouldn’t trade any of my so-called problems for the world, as they’ve taught me so much and brought me to where I am.  From them, I’ve learned acceptance, understanding, compassion, courage, and so much more.   Change your perspective and soon enough, you’ll be having good problems (e.g. Who should I ask out tonight – Betty or Veronica?)

Let go.  Accept the things you can’t change.  What you don’t accept will eat you up on the inside, and will synchronistically age you on the outside.  I’ll repeat it again -  Let go.

Be comfortable with being uncomfortable.  On the other side of fear lies freedom.

Celebrate your successes or achievements, but don’t let them inflate your ego.  Your accomplishments do not make you a better person than anyone else.

Be flexible.

Stay fit.  Your body is the most important possession you will ever have in this world, so take care of it with that in mind.  If you owned a Maserati, you wouldn’t put low octane fuel into it, so treat your body likewise.

Give value to other people.  Don’t think so much about what you can get.  It will come in due time, when you least expect it.

Lift with your knees.

Do what you love.  Working hard or working smart doesn’t mean much if you don’t love what you do.  Again, focus on giving value.  It’s a reward in itself.  Steve Jobs said it best:  If you haven’t found (what you love) yet, keep looking.  Don’t settle.

Simplify.  Don’t accumulate too many things.  They only tie you down and clutter your mind.

Look for similarities in other people, rather than differences.

Stop watching TV.

Create an action habit.  The Law of Attraction doesn’t work without some action.

Practice patience.

Take responsibility for your own actions.  Stop blaming others for your circumstances.

Write down your goals.

Review your goals.

And of course … above all else, wear sunscreen

(*) The notion of “making it” or “success” is purely subjective.   To some people, I may have made it.  To others, no.  Like I mention in the post, always be a student on the path.   Enjoy the journey, not the destination.